The Hook Up
by Madame Atomic Bomb
Summary: Zuko and Suki's flirtation turns into something more while on a visit to Iroh's...or does it?
1. One

**CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

"It would be better for the both of us if you got out of those clothes."

"Excuse me?" Zuko asked, looking from the stack of paperwork in front of him and focusing his attention on the woman standing in the doorway of the train carriage, her hands on her hips, her red lips pursed.

"You heard me."

Zuko put his papers down and stretched out in the train compartment, eying her with interest as he propped his boots up on the seat opposite them. "If you want to get me naked, you just have to ask, Suki."

Suki's lips twitched, but she shut down the smile he'd almost teased out of her the next instant. "Ha-Ha. That's not what I meant. This isn't a diplomatic mission, so there's no need to dress in those stuffy Fire Lord robes. That crown is a gold nightmare and a dead giveaway that you're royalty. It'll be easier to do my job and keep you from getting killed if you dress like an Earth Kingdom resident."

"And you don't stick out?" he said, gesturing to her Kyoshi uniform and makeup. "Not many people in full face paint out on the streets of Ba Sing Se. Except clowns and uh... _ladies of the night_."

"Did you just compare the noble tradition of the Kyoshi Warriors to prostitutes?"

"And clowns."

"I could beat the shit out of you, you know," Suki retorted, knocking his boots off of the seat with one gloved hand. She flounced into the seat with a huff as he chuckled.

"Believe me, I know. I'm still bruised from the last time you pinned me to the ground," he said, the memory of their last training session together coming over him like a heat wave. He could still see the sweat beading on her skin, the hair sticking to her slender neck, the feel of her hands on his wrists, and her warm, supple body pinning him to the ground...those blue eyes like lightning...burning into him...

Suki bit down on the inside of her lip, meeting his gaze for one hot moment.

"I didn't hear you complaining," she drawled and he felt heat flash up his spine, emboldening him past all decency.

"I'd have to be an idiot to complain about _that,_ " he said slowly, and enjoyed watching her gloved hands turn into fists at her sides. She swallowed, the look in her eyes just this side of aroused. Dark triumph spread in him with a rush.

Things between them had been like this since the start of their journey from the Fire Nation to Ba Sing Se. Well, if he were honest, things had been like this for months now, but being alone together for the past few days had certainly ramped things past a mild flirtation he could write off as simply friendly, to a sizzling undercurrent that neither one of them could deny any longer.

Or maybe he just didn't _want_ to deny it.

He wanted her. He had known it for a long time and he was more than willing to cross that line between close friends to lovers. It was Suki herself that was stopping him from making any overt advances.

He knew she wanted him, though. It wasn't conceit. They had nearly kissed at least a dozen times, late at night, or during one of their hormone-soaked work out sessions when neither one of them could keep their hands off of the other.

But whenever things went almost close to too far, Suki pulled back. She slammed the door shut and went all formal on him. She turned from Suki, his long-time friend into Suki, the Leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, duty bound to protect him. All business. A blank mask.

This journey had been different, however. He wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because they were alone together. Maybe it was the change of scenery. Maybe the stars were aligned, he didn't know. He didn't care. He just knew that he liked it— _loved it_ —when Suki's blue eyes darkened with desire like that.

It made him want to do... _things._ Bad things. That look in her eyes shook through all of his normal awkward reticence and emboldened him past all decency.

"You _are_ an idiot," she said, prodding his knee with the tip of her boot. His hand swooped out and grabbed her ankle. He yanked her forward, making her slide to the end of the seat. A squeak left her, followed by a sharp, high-pitched giggle as he pulled her shoe off and tossed it on the floor. "What do you think you're doing?"

He caught her gaze, flashing her a grin as he scooped up her other leg and put it into his lap. He pried off her other boot and tossed it aside.

"Taking off that silly uniform of yours before someone mistakes you for a lady of ill repute," he said seriously. "Think of the scandal! The rumors!"

Suki giggled, her serious demeanor completely gone now. This was the Suki he liked best. His friend. The woman who made his heart burst, who could tease a smile out of him even on his gloomiest days. He'd never thought of himself as playful...but something about Suki brought it out in him. He liked it more than he could ever say.

"There won't be any rumors if you'd take off your crown," Suki said, squirming as he pulled off her sock and tossed it at her. She caught it and then squealed as he raked his fingers down the sole of her foot. She fought him, but he tickled her foot again, enjoying the way she threw back her head, the way her giggle was nearly a shriek. "ZUKO!"

"Your feet smell."

"THEY DO NOT!"

He made a face and tickled her foot again, but she sat up, launching herself across the space between the seats at him. He dropped her foot and reached for the fan on her waist, even as she pinned his shoulders back against the seat. She was still giggling.

"If you weren't the Fire Lord, I'd-" she said warningly.

"So pretend I'm not," he said quickly, his blood rushing in his ears. His gaze flicked to her lips and back to her flashing blue eyes.

"Hard to pretend when you're wearing that crown," she said through her teeth. He could see the burning light in her eyes though. He knew she had caught the clear invitation in his voice, the insinuation. The desire he was totally unable to control.

"I'll take it off when you take off this uniform," he said and flicked out the fan between them.

She let up on his shoulders and reached for her fan.

"Give me that!"

He closed it with a snap and grinned, pulling it out of her reach. "No."

"Give it!" she said in a stern voice that was betrayed by the smile playing on the corners of her lips. She stamped her bare foot on the carpeted floor. "Zuko! What has gotten into you?"

Zuko tucked the fan into the front of his robes and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I thought you wanted me to lighten up? Aren't you always telling me I'm too serious?" he said. "I just want to give you what you want, Suki."

Suki's smile slowly relaxed and he saw her bite down on her lower lip.

"Zuko..."

He shifted forward on the seat, one of his bent knees sliding between her legs as she stood before him. He looked up at her and they were so close he could have buried his face against her stomach, but he wasn't touching her. Instead he met her gaze.

"Isn't that what you want, Suki?" he asked softly.

Suki let out an unsteady breath and stepped closer, her hand sliding along his cheek.

"What I want..." she said slowly, "is for you to take off this damned crown."

And she seized the golden, flame-shaped crown in his hair and gave it a wrench. He jerked his head away, and grabbed her around the waist, twisting in place and depositing her on the seat beneath his pinning weight.

"Give me that stupid thing!" Suki laughed as they wrestled on the seat. He batted off her hands, grabbing her wrists as he laughed.

"No!"

"Give it!"

"No!" he said and stuck out his tongue at her.

She made a fake shocked face and then grinned at him. Her eyes were glittering with excitement. "Very mature."

She laughed as he let up on her wrists and grasped the half-helmet on her head, tossing it off, and mussing her hair.

"If I'm losing the crown, you're losing this helmet," he said seriously.

"I'm on duty," she giggled.

"So am I."

"You're on vacation."

"So are you."

"No, I'm not."

"You are if I say you are. Fire Lord, remember?"

"How can I forget...when you won't take off your crown?" Suki said, making a fake snarling face.

"You really want me to take it off?" She nodded. "Fine."

He reached up and pulled out the pins holding the golden, flame-shaped crown in place. His dark hair immediately tumbled down his shoulders as he leaned over her. He waved the crown at her and then tossed it aside.

"Happy now?"

Suki bit down on her lower lip and reached up, running her fingers through a snarl of his hair that had fallen forward. "Yes."

"Now you."

"Me what?"

"This armor is a problem," he said with a sigh and then looked in her eyes. "You should definitely take it off."

"Oh, I should, should I?" Her eyebrow arched as they stared at one another.

"Absolutely," he said seriously, as his blood roared in his ears. Suki shifted beneath him, her fingers twirling up in his hair. He couldn't stop staring at her mouth. And he was very aware of his knee between her thighs.

"Same to you," she said and flicked the pointed shoulders of his black cape. "One look at you, crown or no, and everyone will know you're a royal pain."

"Am not."

"Are too," she said warmly.

"Am not, but you make a good point," he said. "I definitely don't want to be anyone on this vacation but myself. I don't want to be the Fire Lord and I don't want you to be my bodyguard. I want the protocol and duty left behind. We're just Zuko and Suki, okay? We're just _us._ "

There was a lot loaded into his words, and he knew she understood him perfectly. How could she not? Hadn't they been dancing around this months now?

"Zuko, I don't think..."

But he smiled a little. "Don't over-think it."

"That's usually my advice to you," she said in a quavering voice.

"It's good advice. I always take it," he said as he grasped her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the backs of her gloved knuckles. Suki hitched in a breath and he felt her other hand grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

"I know you do. I-" she started, just as a loud whistle cracked the air, making them both jump. She snatched hand back and scooted up and away from him until her back was to the window of their train carriage. The train whistle coincided with a sudden jolt that rocked them in place.

Zuko caught himself on the seat and rushed forward, pushing the plush golden curtain aside to peer out into the gloom, and in the distance, the looming, illuminated wall of Ba Sing Se's massive outer ring.

"Shit," he intoned, feeling the train slowing as it approached the station, where a carriage would be waiting for them. He glanced at Suki. "I didn't realize we were so close to the city."

"I heard the new train is pretty fast," Suki said casually, smoothing her hair down as she reached for her boots and pulled them on. "We should...umm...freshen up.. We'll be at the station in a few minutes."

He glanced around the carriage, at his scattered papers on the floor and on the seat, at her helmet and his crown at their feet.

"Right," he said grimly, feeling thoroughly put out, as if he'd missed his moment. He gestured to his travel bag, which was on a shelf above the seats as she scooped up her shoes and helmet. "I guess I'll change. You're right. I'll attract too much attention."

"I should change too."

They stood at the same time and came face to face. Suki's panicked gaze as she met his eye made his heart clang hard against his ribcage.

"Sorry," he mumbled and moved out of her way, so she could sidle past him.

She stopped, however, and surprised him by stepping even closer. He stared down at her, his blood roaring.

"Zuko..." she started, and he caught his breath as he felt her hand slide into the front of his shirt. She pulled it out just as quickly though, and waved her closed fan in his face, pulling a twisted little smile that made him want to tackle her again. "I won't wear my uniform or paint while we're in Ba Sing Se, but there's no way I'm going weaponless. And my feet don't smell."

And then she bopped him on the nose with the fan and swept out of the carriage before he could say or do anything. He grinned after her, feeling...

Well, he wasn't sure _what_ he was feeling at the moment.

Maybe it was hope.

 _Or,_ he thought ruefully as he felt his cock twitch, _maybe it's something else entirely._


	2. Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

* * *

After a long journey through Ba Sing Se's series of walled rings, Zuko and Suki found themselves in front of the Jasmine Dragon Tea House, their bags on their shoulders and wearing significantly much less conspicuous clothing.

Suki had washed the paint from her face before leaving the train, leaving her skin clean and rosy-cheeked. She'd also changed out of her uniform and put on a pair of green, knee-length pants with gold embroidery on them, and a matching cropped shirt with split bell sleeves that ended at her elbows. She had her fan strapped to her waist, and a sword strapped to her back, which was about as inconspicuous as she'd allow herself.

Zuko had changed into a green and tan vest and a matching pair of dark green pants, with brown boots and a hooded robe. He'd left his hair down, letting the thick black cascade fall over his eye in order to hide the scar.

They hadn't spoken much on the journey to his uncle's tea shop, but he'd been watching Suki whenever she looked away from him, which was often. She seemed to be attempting to avoid his gaze, but she was also on alert for any attacks. No matter how much he wanted to pretend he wasn't the Fire Lord on this trip, he knew that Suki would never do that. She never let her guard down, disguise or no.

That was what made her such an excellent bodyguard...but he knew that her dedication to her duty was what was driving a wedge between them. He'd known that for a while, and he didn't understand it, not really. They had been friends—were still friends—before she'd become his bodyguard...why did it matter that she technically worked for him? It didn't really matter to him, why should it matter to her?

He just didn't get her reluctance.

 _Unless she's just not interested in me_ , he thought gloomily, and then thought of the way they had played with one another in the train compartment and how close they had come to outright going for it. How close he'd come. Oh, how he'd wanted to put an end to the circles they'd been dancing around one another...

Glancing at her now, standing outside his uncle's tea shop, he made a vow to himself to make a move while they were in Ba Sing Se—any move. If she rejected him, he'd deal with it and move on, but this tension had to stop somehow and the only way to do that was to tackle it head on.

He was nervous about it, unsure, but determined.

Lost in his thoughts, he missed the door of the tea shop opening and Iroh's exclamation of surprise and delight at seeing them on his doorstep.

"NEPHEW! I did not expect you so early! Or rather, late!" Iroh said, pulling him into a fierce hug that practically lifted Zuko off of his feet. He smiled and caught himself on his uncle's shoulders. The weight Iroh had lost in prison all those years ago had slowly crept back up on him again. He was enjoying a very soft retirement in Ba Sing Se.

It had been several months since they'd last seen each other. There was more white in Iroh's bristly beard, and more lines around his eyes, but he didn't look careworn. He looked happy and relaxed, as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Something inside of Zuko relaxed a little. Being with his uncle always had that affect on him, whether he would admit it or not.

"We were supposed to arrive in the morning, but the new train from Republic City was faster than we expected," Zuko said as he pulled back. He met Iroh's gaze. "You look well, Uncle."

"I look well-fed," Iroh guffawed with a wide grin, patting his expansive stomach, and then turning to Suki. He reached out and took her hand, bending over it and kissing it gallantly. "And what a pleasure it is to you again, Captain Suki!"

"It's good to see you too, General Iroh," Suki said warmly as Iroh looked between the two of them.

There was a knowing gleam in Iroh's gaze that Zuko didn't like in the slightest. He suspected that Iroh knew how he felt about Suki; he'd certainly been dropping enough hints in his letters, and on his last visit to Ba Sing Se.

"Well, well, come in. Come in! I'll make some tea!" Iroh said and led them inside. He put his hands on their backs and steered them toward the front door of the shop. "Also...uh...I have some er...interesting news!"

"What's that, Uncle?" Zuko asked, warily.

"King Kuei has proposed marriage to you!"

* * *

"He did what now?" Suki said in a flat voice as a supremely bemused expression crossed Zuko's face. She glanced at him and then back at Iroh. Iroh's broad face flushed and he rubbed at the back of his neck.

"We should discuss this inside," he said, gesturing to the closed tea shop behind him. "You never know who is listening these days."

Suki's hand strayed to the fan at her waist, suddenly alert to the fact that they were standing in the middle of the street in a foreign city. Though they were incognito, it wasn't much of a secret that the Fire Lord sometimes came to visit and stay with his uncle.

The Jasmine Dragon was a security risk and always had been, but Zuko had insisted that she be the only Kyoshi Warrior he was willing to take with him on his vacation—and there wasn't much she could do to fight a royal order.

 _Well...that wasn't entirely true_ , she thought with a hot flush as she remembered their teasing on the train. She pushed the confusing memory away and focused instead on the empty street as Zuko, still smiling bemusedly, followed Iroh into the shop.

She glanced at the street—it was empty for now, but she'd have to make a perimeter sweep before she'd be satisfied that things were as they appeared. She had other pressing business to attend to.

Like Zuko getting a marriage proposal from the Earth King, apparently.

Zuko held the door open for her and she passed him, flushing a little as his gaze flicked over her, probably looking for some sign of what she thought of Iroh's surprising pronouncement, or maybe he was looking for something else in her eyes...

She steadfastly ignored the hot weight of his eyes on her and surveyed the empty tea shop, looking for hidden dangers, as Iroh swept over to a table and settled heavily into a chair, leaving them to follow like lost children.

"Okay, Uncle...explain," Zuko said as he set his heavy bag down and sank into a chair across from Iroh. Suki did the same beside him, watching as Iroh pulled a chagrined smile.

"Well...uh...it's a long story..."

"I should think so," Suki said smartly.

"Perhaps I should make some tea first?"

"No, explain!"

"Tea first!" Iroh said and scrambled out of his chair, practically running toward the kitchen. Zuko opened his mouth to call him back, but closed it again. He rubbed at his forehead instead, grimacing.

"Not even five minutes together and I'm already neck-deep in it," he muttered, making Suki laugh a little. He looked at her, and their gazes met with a hot wrench. "Amused, are we?"

"Well, it's not every day the Earth King proposes marriage to the Fire Lord," she said, but then blushed as her thoughts strayed where she had been trying for months not to let them stray. "I didn't know that Kuei felt that way about you. You've been flirting with him too, have you?"

"Seriously?" he said flatly and gestured to the little window that opened up between the kitchen and the tea shop, where they could see Iroh brewing tea and setting cakes on a tray. "And the only person I've been flirting with has been-"

But he stopped as Iroh came back into the room, humming, a tray laden with honey cakes, a large, steaming teapot, a small pot of tea leaves, three cups and a bowl of sugar. He set it down and then settled at the table with a rather bemused expression on his face.

"Uhh...honey cake?" he offered, pushing the try at them. Suki and Zuko ignored him.

"Spill, Uncle," Zuko said, sitting back in his chair. "What is going on? Why does Kuei want to marry me?"

"Oh, I did not mean Kuei! I meant..." Iroh twisted his rough hands together and glanced between the two of them again. "Well, it was... It's an interesting story... You see, I was serving tea to King Kuei. He visits me from time to time, you know. He and I were talking..."

"And?" Zuko prompted, an arch in his voice.

"And. Well. He has a cousin... Her name is Daiyu. She holds the title of Lady, I believe. She is said to be very beautiful. The Black Jade, they call her..."

Suki felt a cold feeling of dread come over her and glanced at Zuko, trying to keep her face neutral. Zuko's brows drew down low, the scar on his eye just visible beneath the fall of his dark hair.

"And?" Zuko said again, this time in a colder voice.

Iroh swirled his fingertip on the table, pursing his lips and pointedly not looking at either one of them in the eye. "And Kuei brought up the idea of marrying his cousin to someone in the Fire Nation royal family."

"You mean me?" Zuko said and then let out a gusty sigh. "I hope you told him no, uncle!"

"Well...I...I did not tell him yes. I did not feel that was my place," Iroh said. "He wouldn't hear any of my arguments any way, Fire Lord Zuko. Kuei seems determined to marry his cousin off, and he seems to think a union between our two nations would be advantageous. You cannot deny that it would not."

Zuko hesitated for a moment and then shook his head. But Suki had already seen the thought cross his mind. She shifted in her chair, suddenly feeling as if she couldn't breathe properly. She could see what Iroh meant all too easily. Relations between the two nations had slowly been rebuilt over the past couple of years, but a marriage would cement the friendship in a way trade agreements wouldn't.

Zuko was a bachelor, a Fire Lord without an heir, save Azula and who knew where she was? There had already been whispers about Zuko needing an heir, but he hadn't dated anyone in years. He was certainly not close to marrying anyone.

A marriage of political advantage would neatly solve a lot of problems.

Kuei knew it, so did Iroh, though reluctantly, and by the look in Zuko's eyes, he knew it too.

Suki felt like she was going to be sick. She clasped her hands in her lap, willing them to stop shaking, but they wouldn't. She couldn't be sitting here, listening to this...

 _Not that I care,_ she told herself quickly.

Zuko rubbed at his temple after a long moment and then sighed. "The thought has crossed my mind before."

"WHAT?" Suki burst out before she could stop herself, and immediately felt heat rising to her face as Zuko glanced at her. Some of his consternation faded a little as their gazes met, a spark of amusement in his eyes. It was the same look he'd had on his face in the train compartment, the same look that had slipped past her defenses and made her want...

But it didn't matter what she wanted.

Zuko's lips twitched, perhaps remembering things that made her heart race even now, but he turned back to Iroh.

"An arranged political marriage has always been something I've had to keep in mind, unfortunately. It goes with the territory. My parents had an arranged marriage, after all."

"But that was not for political gain. Your grandfather wanted to strengthen the firebending bloodline," Iroh pointed out, pouring three cups of tea and pushing them at Suki and Zuko. Suki took hers, just to give her shaking hands something to do.

"And you see how well their marriage worked out," Zuko said sarcastically. "Your marriage wasn't political, was it, Uncle?"

"No. Mine was for love," Iroh said softly, his gaze suddenly misty and far away. A little smile graced his lips as his hand ran through his beard. "There were no alliances to be made in my time. We were at war with the other nations, and my father was obsessed with keeping the bloodlines pure. He would never have consented to a marriage to anyone who was not Fire Nation born, so marriage to a foreigner was not in my future. I was lucky enough to fall in love with your aunt before my father became serious about finding me a wife. It was never an issue."

"But it is with me?"

"Well, yes. You are of an age, nephew, where you should be thinking of marriage and children, after all. It is to be expected," Iroh said, and then glanced at Suki and away.

"Fantastic," Zuko mumbled and took a fortifying drink of tea. "I know I have to keep an alliance marriage as an option, even as a bargaining chip, but I don't plan on marrying some woman I don't know just because the Earth King wants it to happen. Our relationship with the other nations is stable and strong enough that an alliance isn't necessary."

"Perhaps not necessary, but an option no less."

"Publicly, yes...an option," Zuko conceded, with a tip of his teacup. "But _not_ one I'm going to ever seriously entertain."

"Daiyu is... She is very beautiful."

"She could be the Moon Spirit and I wouldn't care, Uncle," Zuko said heavily, putting his teacup down with a soft clunk. "I'll tell Kuei that myself. I'll tell him I'm flattered by his offer, but no thank you."

"Do you think that's wise?" Suki asked, although something in her had loosened a little. Some of the sick feeling had fled.

"Kuei is a great ally. He'll understand," Zuko said, nodding solemnly.

But Iroh was looking doubtful. "I am not so sure of that, Zuko. He has been very persistent, obsessed even, with the notion of marrying his cousin to you. He has visited nearly every night for the past month. He has many hopes and plans. I do not think he will drop the matter."

Zuko tilted his head back, rubbing his temple again. Suki knew the gesture well. He usually did it when he was faced with a problem he didn't want to deal with.

"Well, then I'll just have to explain to him that I'm not interested."

"He will want to know _why_ you are not interested," Iroh said, and glanced at Suki again, that knowing glint back in his eyes. "As I said, Daiyu is quite beautiful. Many men have already asked for her hand."

But Zuko was standing, his face grim. "Let them have her then. I don't know her. I don't love her. And uncle, I will not settle for anyone that I do not love."

Zuko's gaze flicked to Suki for one long moment. There was something in his eyes...a fierce light, a promise, something like hunger. She caught her breath, the teacup shaking in her fingers as Zuko pushed in his chair.

"I will tell him, Zuko," Iroh was saying, as Suki felt her heart pounding in her chest. "You both should rest. You had a long journey."

"Thank you, uncle," Zuko said, nodding at his uncle and then turning to Suki. "Goodnight, Suki."

"Goodnight, Zuko," she said, her tongue thick in her mouth. She avoided his gaze again and heard him walk away. She imagined he had a lot to think about. She heard the door of one of Iroh's guest rooms close behind him and took a steadying breath.

When she looked up, Iroh was watching her with that same knowing look in his eyes. She stood. "Thank you for the tea, General Iroh. I should do a perimeter sweep before heading to bed."

"Of course, Captain," Iroh said and then smiled a little. "What do think of Kuei's proposal?"

Taken off-guard, she opened her mouth for a moment, and then closed it with a snap and a shrug. "It's Zuko's business. I'm just his bodyguard."

"We both know that's not true," Iroh softly, making heat flare up Suki's face.

"I... I'll do my sweep now."

Iroh simply nodded, and watched her go, an amused look on his lined face.


	3. Three

**CHAPTER THREE**

* * *

Iroh was busy in his neat, orderly kitchen when Zuko awoke the next morning. He'd had a fitful night's sleep, his mood soured. Iroh's words kept playing in his mind, Kuei's offer sitting in his thoughts like a lump of hot metal.

It wasn't that he was seriously considering it—he wasn't—but the offer had definitely reminded him of how single he actually was. He hadn't dated anyone, even casually, in years. He was too busy to meet women, and as the Fire Lord, it wasn't like he could just date anyone. There were expectations on him that he couldn't ignore. Eventually he would have to marry, but he had no intention of marrying anyone he wasn't in love with, and that brought him back to his first problem.

 _No, my problem is that I've found the woman I want and I don't have the guts to make a move on her,_ he thought darkly as he glanced at the door of Suki's guest room. The door was open, and the room was dark. Frowning, he glanced around his uncle's living room and into the kitchen, but Iroh was alone, humming to himself as he kneaded dough on the floury counter top.

Walking into the kitchen, Zuko found himself smiling. The air smelled of freshly baking bread, and chocolate. A platter of steaming buns sat by the window, cooling in the warm breeze rushing in from the courtyard behind Iroh's house.

"Morning, Uncle. You've been busy," he said warmly, as his Uncle glanced his way with a crinkle of his eyes.

"Good morning, nephew," Iroh replied as Zuko plucked a warm bun from the platter and took a bite. The taste of cinnamon flooded his tongue and he moaned his appreciation.

"These are amazing."

"From my own recipe," Iroh said, sprinkling more flour across his dough. "They are very popular at the shop."

"It's still doing well?"

"Very," Iroh said and then glanced at him again. "The Earth King's business alone has kept me pouring tea from sundown to sun up for months. He has been very persistent."

Zuko groaned and finished off his cinnamon bun. "I'm sure he has, Uncle, but my answer remains the same. I'm not interested."

Iroh looked up, his gaze trained on the open window before him. The sunlight slanted in, warm and yellow as he flattened his lips together. "I think I can guess why not."

"Because I don't want to marry some girl I don't know?" he shot at him.

"That...and because you only have eyes for Suki," Iroh said, glancing at him slyly and then looking back out the window again. Zuko went very still, swallowing as he studied his uncle, trying to find a reason why he should deny it. "Do not think I have not noticed."

"I haven't tried to hide it," he said slowly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Nor could you, I think," Iroh chortled, going back to his dough. "I've known for months now. Have you...?"

"No," he said, feeling a lump in his throat. "No, she's... I mean, we're friends. And she's my bodyguard. It's not like I can just come onto her, Uncle. Even if she wanted me to. Which she doesn't."

"She doesn't, eh?" Iroh said, amusement flavoring his voice. "And what makes you so sure of that?"

"Every time I try...any time we come close, she shuts me down. It's like this mask slips on and she's Captain Suki, instead of..." He trailed off, unable to explain it properly. Iroh seemed to understand anyway.

"Has she told you she isn't interested?"

"No," he said grimly, leaning against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest. "But it's not like I've told her I like her either. I haven't given her a chance to turn me down."

"Why not?"

Zuko stared at the floor beneath his feet, digging the tip of his pointed boot into the mortared crack between the clean tiles. His mood darkened as he mumbled, "I don't want her to reject me."

"So you won't even try?"

"I _am_ trying, Uncle! I thought...maybe on this trip... Maybe... I don't know. I'm not a coward, I just don't want to make things weird. I really like her. More than like her."

"Then you should tell her."

"Do you think she likes me?"

"Yes," Iroh said simply, making Zuko's head snap up. He stared at his uncle, who glanced right back at him. "Perhaps she is reluctant to show it, but yes, I think Captain Suki has feelings for you too, nephew."

"See, I think that too, but I didn't know if I was just making that up in my head because I wanted her to like me!" Zuko admitted. "Especially since she keeps shutting me down."

"Would you like some advice?"

He hesitated and then dipped his head. "Yeah."

"Kiss her," Iroh said simply, with a nod of surety.

Zuko laughed and leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms and his feet. "That's your advice?"

"Yes, did you expect a wise saying or some complicated plot to seduce her?"

"Well...yeah," he shrugged. "A wise saying at least, something relevant."

"Just kiss her," Iroh said, and waved his floury fingers in Zuko's direction.

"I can't just grab her and kiss her, Uncle!" Zuko said, as he felt a flush of embarrassment rising up his face.

"Why not?"

"Her reflexes are too fast. She'd punch me," he pointed out, as Iroh's lips twitched beneath his beard, and his bushy eyebrows lifted. "Besides, it's _rude_ to just grab a woman and...and... I can't do that. She doesn't want me to."

"Yes, she does."

"Uncle!"

Iroh put his sticky dough down with a wet smack and turned to face him, one hand hitched on his aproned hip. "I have been around the bush more than once, Fire Lord Zuko. I know when a woman wants a man, and when she doesn't, and _that_ woman wants you! Kiss her!"

"You are a terrible matchmaker, old man."

"You see if I'm not right in the end," Iroh said as he turned back to his dough. He looked up and jerked his chin in the direction of the window before him. "There she is. Go woo her!"

Zuko glanced over Iroh's shoulder at the shady courtyard, the cobblestones covered in a thick carpet of peach blossoms, which floated down like snowflakes in the gentle breeze. Suki was standing in the midst of the falling petals, moving sinuously—sensuously—through the forms of Tai chi. Her face was a study in utter calm and relaxation, every movement precise and flowing.

Pain shot through Zuko's chest as he watched her, and chasing hard on the heels of that pain was a deep, hard need that he could neither deny nor satisfy. It tortured him, and made all of his arguments and hesitation seem small and whimpering in comparison.

Just watching her made him want to do reckless things. It made him want to grab her and kiss her, and damn all consequences.

A lump formed in his throat and he found himself drifting over to the back door. He heard Iroh chuckle as he worked his dough, but ignored him. He stepped out into the warm sunlight and closed the door behind him. Suki didn't turn at the sound, but he knew that she had already clocked him. She was amazingly good at being aware of her surroundings at all times. It was what made her such a great bodyguard.

But he wished, and not for the first time, that she wasn't the head of his security. Her position in his employ had created distance between them. They were friends, close friends, but he knew Suki, at least, was determined to keep things on a professional level. She took things like that seriously, and while he admired that about her, it also frustrated him. He was sure that was what was keeping things between them from progressing, and why she kept pulling away from him.

He watched her move through the forms as he stepped closer. She was wearing a light green shirt that exposed her muscled torso and a matching pair of pants that gathered at her knees. Her feet were shod in dark brown leather sandals. She had her sword and her fan at her hip, but those were her only concessions to her position as his bodyguard. She wasn't wearing her paint, and her hair was half-gathered in a fishtail braid, little strands falling around her face in the warm, dry air.

When he stepped even closer, moving easily into the same form, Suki's eyes flicked his way, but she didn't say anything. They had done this many times, side by side. His body knew the forms well, and he flowed into the next one the same time she did.

They were mirrors of each other, moving as one into a graceful pattern that turned them in place in the courtyard. His blood started flowing, and he let himself drift into the serenity of the exercise. He felt, as he always did during his workouts with Suki, completely at peace.

He didn't have to be the Fire Lord right now. He didn't have to think about a million laws of governance, or taxes, or food shortages or any of the things that kept him up at night, and gnawed at his guts even as slept.

Here, with her, he was just Zuko, and the relief of that was more than he could ever tell her.

They came to the end of the exercise, and turned to one another, bowing with their hands fisted in front of them. Zuko let out a breath and a little smile crossed his lips.

"I should have known you wouldn't get soft on me, even on vacation."

Suki's brow arched. " _You're_ on vacation. I'm not."

"You are if I say you are," he said and then hesitated. "But I imagine you've already patrolled the neighborhood? Have you terrified a few of Uncle's busybody neighbors?"

Suki didn't even look slightly chagrined. "Just Iroh's delivery boy, but the day is still young. I think we're safe, unless the Earth King swoops in here to kidnap you and force you into marriage. I may not be able to stop him, if it comes to that. He has a bear, you know. A big one."

Her cheeks dimpled at that, and he groaned.

"You're loving this, aren't you?"

"I just like watching you squirm," she shot at him, her voice a warm hum in the soft morning light. "'Fire Lord Zuko, the world's most eligible bachelor.' I think I may have them put that on your stationary."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You already know that I would," she said with a grin, walking over to a stone bench set beneath the heavy boughs of the peach tree. She sat down and grasped a mug of water sitting there. She stretched her long, muscular legs out before her, and took a sip. Her blue eyes glittered with mischief over the rim of her mug. "You shouldn't dismiss this marriage proposal so lightly, you know."

Zuko caught himself staring at her legs and blinked at her. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, this girl may be your soulmate."

"Somehow, I doubt that."

"You never know. You could meet her and fall desperately in love at first sight. It's happened before," she said, lifting her mug at him as if to accentuate her point. Zuko crossed his arms over his chest.

"You seem awfully intent on marrying me off to this girl, you know. I'm not sure what to make of that."

"Maybe I just think you could use a little... _distraction_..." Suki said, and then her face colored prettily. He bit down on the inside of his lip and walked slowly over to her.

"I think you could use a little distraction too," he said softly.

His heart was racing as Suki's knuckles went white on the handle of the mug. She set it down on the bench beside her and looked up at him with a soft expression in her eyes.

"Do you?" she said and chewed on her lip.

Zuko sat down on the bench beside her and took her hand. She didn't pull away, and he took it as a good sign. "I'm only interested in one woman, Suki, and I think you know that."

She hitched in a breath and met his eyes. "I know."

They stared at one another for a long moment. He didn't know what to do now. His feelings were out in the open between them. He didn't know how she felt, but he could guess. The look she was giving him was one of banked need.

His uncle's advice seemed to press on his thoughts, and he leaned in on instinct. Suki's eyes sparkled with interested and then drifted closed as she opened her lips, leaning toward him.

Their lips had barely brushed when the sound of a trumpet blasted through the air. The sound was so violent it shocked them apart. Zuko's head whipped around toward the back door of the teashop, just in time to see a green-clad figure spill out into the courtyard.

"Fire Lord Zuko! It's been too long!" King Kuei exclaimed, throwing out his hands in welcome, even as Zuko cursed his bad luck.


	4. Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

* * *

Suki heard Zuko curse beneath his breath beside her, even as the Earth King and his retinue came boiling out of the door of the tea shop and into the courtyard. Behind him were guards, his bear Bosco, and that thrice-cursed trumpeter, who was still bulging the Earth King's arrival, shrill and off-key.

Iroh came out behind Bosco the bear, his hands floury and a polite smile on his mouth that looked more like a grimace than anything. He was showing far too much teeth.

"Fire Lord Zuko, the...er...Earth King has come to see you," Iroh said somewhat belatedly, and winced when the bugler went into another shrill series of _doot-da-da-doots!_ Suki sincerely wished someone would shove that horn up his ass.

She surveyed the King's retinue with an eye for security, but no one looked like a threat. Except the bear, perhaps, but he was busy nibbling one of Iroh's honey cakes.

Zuko let go of her hand and bolted to his feet, respectfully bowing to the Earth King, who returned the gesture. The king's thin face was stretched wide by an excited smile, his little pince-nez glasses falling to the end of his straight nose. He looked atwitter.

"Earth King Kuei, it's a pleasure to see you. It's been too long," Zuko said in his Diplomat Voice, which Suki had learned well over the years meant Zuko was lying through his teeth, for politeness sake.

"Yes, yes, much too long!" Kuei exclaimed and then winced when his trumpeter, who hadn't yet stopped his bugling, hit a particularly sour note. The King half-turned to face the young man and said sharply, "Ping! ENOUGH!"

Ping cut off his bugling, looking extremely put out, but the King ignored him, turning back to Zuko, his large smile reappearing.

"I had planned on an official visit to the palace to pay my respects, but not for a few days. I hope you'll forgive me, but I'm on vacation..." Zuko started, holding up his hands and sweeping them in front of him in a dismissive gesture.

Suki's heart was pounding hard. She could see how agitated Zuko was by the interruption, although she doubted Kuei could. He ignored Zuko's statement entirely and clapped the taller man on the shoulder.

"Of course, of course! I myself went on a holiday last month. Bosco and I saw the Eastern Air Temple. Beautiful! A wonderful respite from our cares! I hope you'll find Ba Sing Se as relaxing as I found my visit to the temple."

"I hope so too. It's good to see with my uncle, in any case."

"Yes, yes, General Iroh's company has been a great comfort to me as of late. I visit often. Best tea in the city! And the best conversation, yes indeed!" Kuei drew nearer, still clasping Zuko on the shoulder so that he couldn't escape. In a conspiratorial tone, he said, "Your uncle and I have been discussing a few interesting matters of state lately. You see, I've had an idea, a grand idea! I think you'll find it most agreeable!"

Zuko looked like a trapped animal and he glanced at Suki with a plea for help in his eyes. She was still sitting there, somewhat in shock over the fact that she had nearly kissed Zuko.

No, she had kissed him, for just a moment. Their lips had brushed. He had kissed her. It counted. She had kissed him and...and...

Her brain was melting down. She was sure of it. Swallowing, she met Zuko's eye and shrugged as she lifted her fingers to her lips. She could still feel the warm, dry pressure of Zuko's lips. What might it have felt like to keep on kissing him? To lose herself in his warm arms, and...and...

 _What am I doing? I shouldn't be kissing Zuko! What have I done?_

What she had done was had a moment of weakness, which Zuko was entirely too good at causing. When he looked at her, sometimes it took all of her strength not to throw caution to the wind and to just fall into his arms.

She hard nearly done that on the train, and a thousand times before that, but she'd always managed to put him off at the last moment, or stopped herself when she was the one who initiated it. Which she did, a lot. Against her own will.

 _I can't get involved with him. He's the Fire Lord. He's my boss. And it's not right, me flirting with him like this. We're friends, but anything else would be wildly inappropriate. And it would reflect badly on the Kyoshi Warriors, I know it would. And what if it went badly? What if our relationship got in the way of my protecting him? What if I failed in my duties, because I let my heart get in the way?_

These were all things she'd told herself, over and over again, late at night, when a deep, aching longing took hold of her. Or whenever Zuko turned those rare smiles of his on her. When he smiled—especially when he smiled at her—she was hard-put to remember her own name, let alone hold her resolve in place.

Now, with the ghost of his lips still haunting hers, she realized just what trouble she was in. She'd given in, for just a moment, so taken aback by his admission of interest in her that she hadn't been able to summon the strength to put up that shield between them.

She had kissed him. She wanted to keep kissing him, and if he kissed her—really kissed her—she wouldn't stop there. Not even for a second, and that was Bad. That was Out of Bounds. That was a disaster waiting to happen.

 _I am completely screwed._

As her thoughts ran in stupid little panicked circles, the Earth King was drawing his arm around Zuko, still saying in a conspiratorial tone, "I've had a brainwave, indeed I have! You see, you are unwed, and it just so happens that I have a cousin whom you might find is the perfect match for yourself. Daiyu, her name is! She's absolutely beautiful. Half of my court is mad for her, you know! Quite the catch!"

Zuko blanched and glanced at her again, pleading in his eyes. "Well, uh... Uncle already warned—TOLD—me something about this last night when I arrived and..."

"Naughty, Iroh! You were supposed to let me propose it to him!" Kuei said, wagging his finger at Iroh, who was wringing his flour-covered hands, that grimace still on his lips.

"My apologies, King Kuei. I couldn't help myself."

"You're forgiven. It's hard to keep in such happy news!" Kuei said brightly.

"Well, as for that... Er... I'm not currently looking to... That is to say, I'm not... You see, I have no plans to, to, to," Zuko floundered, stumbling all over himself. He looked like he wanted the cobblestones beneath his feet to open up and swallow him whole. Suki was pretty sure that if Zuko were an Earthbender, that very thing might already have happened. "Uh... To... You know."

Kuei seemed to take Zuko's stammer as modesty, or maybe even deep flattery, and not the outright panic it was. Suki wondered what she could do to rescue him. She was his bodyguard, after all. Wasn't it her duty to save him from potentially threatening situations?

Even marriage proposals?

 _Or maybe_ , a quiet, wanting corner of her mind purred in satisfaction, _you're jealous of the idea of any woman being shoved in his direction?_

She told her brain to shut up and debated on what could be done to help Zuko, if anything. King Kuei seemed to be determined to ignore her very presence. He hadn't once looked at her, but that was nothing new. Kuei generally ignored the Kyoshi Warriors whenever they accompanied Zuko to a meeting. She didn't think he was being rude on purpose, he just marked them as "servants" and in his world, servants were part of the background and not to be addressed by Heads of State unless absolutely necessary.

It was the way of Royalty. Even Zuko did it, though not to the Kyoshi Warriors. But his other servants, the people who cleaned his home and cut his grass? They might as well have been invisible to him. He was polite when he did address them, but mostly he ignored them. She didn't think less of him for that, it was just The Way Things Were, and it brought home all the more clearly her own position.

She was a friend, but also a servant. A confidante, but part of the background of his life—or she was supposed to be. Their relationship was supposed to be proscribed, with clear rules and lines that weren't crossed.

She shouldn't be kissing him. He shouldn't be flirting with her. He shouldn't be telling her that he was interested in her, not when there were eligible women out in the world, of higher rank and birth and in more appropriate positions in his life.

The Fire Lord was just not supposed to be kissing his bodyguard, and that was that.

Suki's face burned, her stomach turning over as the facts drummed in her head. She'd gone over these points a thousand times before, and usually she was good at ignoring the way he made her feel, but...

But he had kissed her. And she had let him. She wanted to kiss him again, but that was Bad.

She didn't know what to do.

"Well, these things can't really be planned, can they? Love, as they say, is often inconvenient!" Kuei said, putting his finger beside his nose and winking at Zuko, who looked like he wanted cringe away.

 _Inconvenient? That's the truth._

"I'm sorry, Kuei, but I'm not-"

"I thought you might be shy, or rather, the General tells me you're shy when it comes to the ladies," Kuei said, and Zuko whipped around to face his uncle, a look of deep horror and betrayal on his face. Iroh wrung his hands.

"UNCLE!"

"Not to worry, not to worry!" Kuei said, and patted Zuko on the shoulder. "I've brought my cousin to meet you and you can see how you two suit. I know you'll hit it off. The Black Jade, they call her. Beautiful girl!"

"Uh..." Zuko started, and he actually looked like he was going to make a break for it, but Kuei held him tightly by the shoulder and nodded to his overenthusiastic bugler, who started, and then yanked the door to Iroh's kitchen open.

"The Lady Daiyu!" Ping declared as a blushing young woman stepped out into the bright sunshine. Suki felt her stomach plummet as she sat there on the bench, still too stunned to move. Her eyes took in the Earth King's cousin and she felt like an absolute hoyden next to her.

The girl was delicate, her skin like fine porcelain. Her eyes were bright, the color of rich green jade, and fringed with dark, long lashes that any woman would envy—and they didn't look like artifice. Her brows were thin and arched over her expressive, but shy eyes like the wings of doves. Her lips were as red as rubies, plump and firm, and curled into a beguiling smile that had probably ensnared many men and no few women.

Her hair was as dark as ink, with a sheen about it that dazzled the eye. There were green and yellow ribbons in her carefully coiffed hair, and a comb in the shape of a white lotus flower was inserted into the whole confection, like a crown. She was wearing a jade-green robe that matched her eyes, embroidered with gold, and dripping with silks of every shade of green and yellows.

In short, she was as beautiful as both Iroh and Kuei had declared. They hadn't been exaggerating at all.

"Hello, Fire Lord Zuko, it is a pleasure to meet you," Lady Daiyu said in a voice like bells, and she bowed gracefully at Zuko, and then pulled another charming smile.

Suki glanced sharply at Zuko, and her black mood went even darker, as she saw blood rush to Zuko's face. His mouth opened and he blinked several times, like he couldn't believe the vision before his eyes.

"Uh... It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Lady Daiyu," Zuko said, stumbling as he walked over to the girl. She was shorter than he was almost by a head, and he had to stoop to take her hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it gently. "The tales of your beauty seem hardly to do you justice."

Suki's hands fisted in her lap and she felt her throat close. Her own face was growing red and she could hear a dull roaring in her ears that grew as Daiyu demurred coquettishly, those long lashes of her fluttering over her impossible green eyes.

"You flatter me, Fire Lord Zuko, as does my dear cousin. I'm afraid he is rather fixated on the idea of a betrothal between us," she said shyly, in a breathy voice that made Zuko's ears go red.

Suki stood up then, but she didn't know why. Her heart was pounding like mad and all she could focus on was Zuko's hand still holding Daiyu's.

"Oh, well...I'm..." Zuko stammered again. "That's... About that, I... I'm flattered and— _extremely_ flattered—but I'm... Well that is to say, I'm...uh..."

"What he's _trying_ to say is that he's taken!" Suki said, her voice ringing out loud and clear across the courtyard.

Every eye turned on her immediately.

 _Oh shit._


	5. Five

**CHAPTER FIVE**

* * *

 _Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT! OHSHITSHITSHIT SHIT SHIIIIIITTTT!_

Suki felt the blood drain out of her face as what she'd just said sank in. Her brain went on full meltdown. She hadn't just said that. Had she?

But she could tell by the stunned look on Zuko's face, his eyes widening as he wheeled on her, that she had.

"I beg your pardon?" Lady Daiyu said, in a much less breathy voice than she'd used on Zuko. Her coquettish smile had faded to an angered pout, those impossible green eyes narrowing imperceptibly. "Who is... _this?_ "

But Zuko was still staring at Suki, and the shock on his face was wearing off. Their gazes met. Suki felt nervous sweat slide down her back. Slowly, ever so slowly, a grin spread across his face. Normally she loved to see him smile, but _that_ grin...

 _I'm in trouble. What did I just do?_

"Fire Lord Zuko?" Kuei spoke up, confusion in his voice, his excitement deflating in his uncertainty.

Zuko let go of Lady Daiyu's hand, and something in Suki unclenched and unfurled, though she hadn't been aware that she'd been practically shaking at the sight of him holding her hand. Touching her. Actually blushing at her!

Zuko's topaz eyes glittered in deep amusement as she stared at him, begging him not to, but it was far too late. She'd done this to herself.

 _Don't you dare!_ she tried to send at him with only the widening of her eyes.

 _You are so screwed_ , Zuko's grin seemed to say.

"King Kuei, I believe you and Captain Suki are already acquainted. She's the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, and my chief bodyguard. And my girlfriend," Zuko said, and there was challenge and laughter in his eyes.

She knew him well enough to know that he truly was on the edge of laughter and was only keeping his mirth in by a hairsbreadth.

 _Oh, I'm gonna get him for this_ , she thought, even though the blame could be squarely put on her and her stupid mouth. And her irrational, jealous heart.

"You didn't say anything about this, General Iroh," Kuei said, turning on Iroh, who was holding a flour-smeared tea towel over his mouth. Suki was pretty sure he was hiding a grin behind the towel, but when he lowered it, he looked sober and dignified, though his eyes were shining with amusement.

"I was not aware that my nephew had a girlfriend until now," Iroh spoke up. "I would have discouraged you, if I'd known."

Zuko walked over to Suki and slipped his arm around her waist. She was too numb to push him away, even if she'd wanted to. Zuko took her hand in his. "We were waiting for the right time to surprise you, Uncle. Isn't that right, Suki?"

She glanced at him furtively, noting the curl of his lips and the blush still turning his ears a beet red. "Yes," she said, smiling at Iroh rather stiffly. "Yes, we were waiting. Surprise!"

"Oh," Kuei said, the wind completely falling out his sails at that. He physically drooped, a hang-dog expression on his face. "Well, I'm very happy for the two of you."

But he didn't sound happy.

"Thank you, King Kuei. I'm very happy as well."

"She's...your bodyguard?" Daiyu said delicately.

"Yes," Zuko said with confidence.

"A servant," she said shortly.

"Well," Zuko started, glancing down at Suki. "I mean, _technically..._ Not that that matters to me. _"_

"They must do things very differently in the Fire Nation. How...progressive of you," Daiyu said, and the look she sent Suki could have shriveled a peach.

 _I think I just made an enemy. Fantastic._

"And is it...is it serious?" Kuei hazarded, gesturing between the two of them.

Zuko took Suki's hand as he turned his gaze on her. Though there was amusement still dancing in his eyes, there nothing but deadly earnest in his voice when he said, "I'm _very_ serious about my feelings for Suki."

He kissed her hand and then met her eye again. She felt tingles go through her from head to toe. He'd meant that. Completely meant that.

She wanted the earth to swallow her whole now, but it wouldn't. Curse her for not having been born an Earthbender! Curse him for thinking this was funny! For some reason, she had a feeling Zuko knew what had prompted her outburst. That he knew she was jealous, and he was enjoying it. But beneath that... Oh, he was deadly serious.

She'd played right into his hands.

 _I may kill him._

"Yes, well, that's...lovely to hear," Kuei said, and glanced at his cousin, who had gone very stiff. Kuei looked nervous all of a sudden.

"Lady Daiyu, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid I'm spoken for," Zuko said easily, bowing to her. Some of his stammering was gone, which just told Suki had incredibly well he'd played her, thinking his head could be turned so quickly by a pretty face. Even a face like Daiyu's.

"I understand," Daiyu said, laughing softly, though the expression didn't reach her eyes. She was glaring at Suki, though no one else seemed to realize it. "This is a bit awkward. I'm a little embarrassed. We shouldn't have intruded on you like this."

"No matter!" Kuei said, flapping his hands as he between Zuko and Daiyu. "It was a fleeting thought, a half-baked idea, actually. And Iroh warned me! Didn't you, Iroh?"

"Well, I did say that my nephew might have something to say in the matter," Iroh said, rocking back on his heels. At his feet, Bosco was sniffing at Iroh's messy apron. "It's hard to reckon the hearts of the young, but I can't say I'm surprised that my nephew finally made his intentions toward the lovely Suki known! He's held a torch for her for a long time!"

Zuko glanced at Suki, his face red. Her face felt hot as well. She had a feeling Iroh knew they weren't dating, but she also had a feeling Iroh hadn't lied just now. Just how long had Zuko liked her?

 _Probably as long as I've liked him_ , she thought and then scolded herself. _Not that I do! I'm not supposed to, anyway..._

Lost in her thoughts, Suki missed the Earth King making his excuses. It seemed the situation called for a hasty retreat. Zuko bowed to him, his hand slipping off of her waist. Then Zuko bowed to Daiyu, who returned the gesture. She didn't bow to Suki. She swept out of the courtyard with her head held high, but the look she shot at Suki over her shoulder was one of deep loathing.

 _Yeah, this is going to end well,_ Suki thought ruefully as Kuei's bugler gave another shrill blast and the King herded a lumbering Bosco out of the courtyard, calling promises to come visit Iroh soon over his shoulder. He looked like a man who had been severely disappointed.

Or maybe like a man who was about to get an earful from his severely disappointed cousin. Daiyu was clearly not happy with the unexpected turn of events.

Then again, a girl like that had probably had men fall at her feet left and right for years. She'd probably never been rejected before, and certainly not by Royalty. The blow to her ego had caught her unawares.

Suki had a feeling she would regroup though. And what that could mean for her, or Zuko, she didn't want to contemplate at the moment.

The sound of the King's retinue faded into the ever-present noise of the city, leaving Iroh, Zuko and herself standing in the courtyard with the peach blossoms raining down on them. She saw Iroh look between them, smile encouragingly, and then he all but ran through the kitchen door, leaving them alone in the courtyard.

Zuko licked his lips and turned toward her.

"Suki..."

She didn't give him a chance to finish. She turned and ran through the kitchen door after Iroh. Zuko shouted after her, but she didn't stop.

* * *

Zuko stared after Suki for a long moment, the echo of his shout reverberating on the stone walls around him. Then he was off, chasing after her. He charged into the kitchen and looked around. Iroh was there, his hands back on his dough.

Wordlessly, his uncle lifted his stubby finger and gestured toward the guest rooms that jutted off of his main living area. The door of Suki's guest room was closed. He charged over to it and nearly banged on it in his haste. Instead, he lightly knocked, as if his heart was pounding like a drum in his chest.

He still couldn't believe Suki had said that. Even if she'd looked like she wanted to shimmy up a tree to avoid looking at him afterward. She'd still said it, and the jealousy in her eyes when she'd looked at Daiyu had been unmistakable.

"Suki? It's me." There was no reply from the other side of the door. He knocked again and leaned his ear against the wood. "Look, I'm... I don't know what to say here. Would you open up, please? Please? I think we should talk!"

There was silence on the other side of the door for a long moment, and then it slid open a crack, and one of Suki's dark blue eyes peered at up at him.

"We're _not_ dating," she said, surprising him.

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Well, yeah..." he said, rubbing at his neck as he leaned into the door, putting his face to the crack. "I know you just said that bail me out back there."

"You did that on purpose!"

"Did what?"

"You know what!" she snarled at him and snapped the door closed on his nose. Pain shot through his face and he stumbled back, clutching at his nose. Tears welled in his eyes as he stared at the door.

Then he reached forward, wrenching it open. It was a flimsy thing, decorative rice paper on a wooden frame, and it flew open with more force than he'd meant. Suki yelped and stepped back as it banged to a clattering, rattling stop.

"That hurt!"

"You were trying to make me jealous!" Suki said, her fists clenching in front of her as he stepped into the room. He closed the door gently behind him and turned to face her with shame in his eyes.

"I..."

"And don't you deny it!" she said, jabbing his chest with her finger.

Zuko hesitated, and then pulled a grimace. He'd definitely been trying to make her jealous out there. He'd noted the way Suki had clocked the girl the moment she'd walked into the courtyard, that she'd seen Daiyu as a threat, though he had a feeling she would never, ever, in a million years admit it.

Daiyu was undeniably beautiful. His uncle and the King hadn't been lying about that, and for a moment seeing her _had_ knocked him for a loop.

But only for a moment. She was beautiful, yes, but she wasn't _Suki._ He wasn't going to stumble all over himself just because of a pretty face.

But oh, that look on Suki's face... It had done things to him. It had made him want to see her rear up, to claim her territory, to finally acknowledge what she wanted.

He knew Suki very well. She had a jealous streak that was fearsome to behold when aroused. How often had he seen her bristle when some girl flirted with Sokka, back when they were dating? She wasn't possessive, or even controlling, but she definitely didn't like sharing the attention of anyone she was dating and he couldn't really blame her for that.

Zuko too, had a jealous streak. It wasn't something he was proud of, but he fully acknowledged it as one of his shortcomings. Suki, on the other hand...

Suki wallowed in her jealousy, like a drunk at an open bar. And he had used that fact to his advantage. Or at least, to some advantage. He hadn't meant for her to stand up and declare them an item before the Earth King, but the fact that she had had pleased him beyond all decency.

He'd liked hearing her say that he was hers. No, he'd loved it.

"I'm not denying it."

"Why would you do that?" Suki said, hurt in her voice.

"Because every time we come even remotely close to..." he floundered for words, and gestured wildly between them. "To us! To the next step! I don't know! To stop pretending like we're not flirting and crazy for one another? Every time we nearly kiss or touch or...admit how we feel you just shut down on me like nothing happened. Like you don't like me! And I know you're just pretending, Suki! I was trying to making you jealous so you'd admit that you like me!"

"How do you know I like you? Just because you like me doesn't mean that I like you! I know you said you had feelings for me right before they showed up, and we...we... We kissed a little, but that was just... I was just..."

"So you _don't_ like me?"

"I... Well..." she trailed off, obviously trapped now. Her hands worried themselves against her chest and she bit down on her lower lip. Her eyes were huge in the sunlight filtering in through the windows. "It's not that simple..."

"It's simple to me. You either like me, or you don't."

"Zuko, I... I don't want to lead you on. It's not that I don't like you, it's that... Well, I _can't_ like you."

" _Can't?_ Why not?" he laughed. "Why can't you like me?"

"Because you're _you_ and I'm _me_ , and that's..." She looked pained as he stepped close. He took her hands and he could feel her trembling.

"Well, that's why I like you. Because you're you," he said softly. "Daiyu is gorgeous...but she's nothing compared to you."

"Don't lie."

He grinned. "It's not a lie. She had nothing on you. _Nothing._ Suki, you're... You're everything I want. And I do want you."

"Please don't say that..." she said breathlessly, her lips opening, her eyes soft in the sunlight. He leaned in, his hands sliding around her waist. She didn't fight him. Instead she seemed to melt into his embrace.

"But I do," he said as his nose brushed hers. "I want you, Suki."

She took a ragged breath and tremble passed over her body. She flattened her hands on his chest. Her blue eyes were blown wide, her cheeks flushed, pink lips bitten.

"Zuko... You shouldn't say that..."

"Why not?"

"Because you're making it very hard for me to leave this room and I really should leave, before I do something stupid," she said in a tremulous voice. He smiled a little, his forehead resting against hers.

"You don't want to leave," he whispered as blood roared in his veins, in his ears, in his heart and then further south, tightening in his groin as her perfume tantalized his senses. His hand slid up her back.

"No...no, but I should."

"If that's what you really want I won't stop you," he said. Suki squeezed her eyes shut for a hard moment and then looked him straight in the eyes.

"It's _not_ what I want, Zuko. What I want–"

"I know what you want," he said roughly and kissed her.


	6. Six

**CHAPTER SIX:**

Suki was in trouble. In over her head kind of trouble. The kind of trouble that was about to blow up in her face and take her with it.

The part of her that could think was freaking out entirely. The other part...

Well, the other part was too busy kissing Zuko to care about anything else, and that was the part of her that she couldn't trust, not even a little bit. Her rationale had fled like rats from a sinking ship the moment Zuko's hot, wild mouth crashed to hers, and all she could do was cling to him, kissing him back with the banked fury of a thunderstorm about to break.

"I know what you want," he'd said, and he had been right. So very right.

He knew. He knew everything. She could feel it in his kiss, that knowledge that went to the core of them both. Knew how she felt. Knew how she wanted him.

Oh, he knew.

But that didn't mean she should have been kissing him back.

And yet, despite the part of her brain that was screaming at her to stop this madness before it burned her up, she looped her arms around Zuko's neck, pulling herself against him, even as his arms threaded her waist, his hands spreading on her back.

He tipped her back, his kiss spreading through her like warm chocolate. She moaned into it, too lost for the moment to do anything else. Every inch of her ached. Her heart beat like a furious drum.

Kissing him was everything she had imagined.

He pulled her against him as she hummed into his kiss, her arms sliding up around his neck. He lifted her up on her tiptoes, clearly enjoying the taste of her by the sound of the dark moan in his throat and the way his body pushed into hers.

His head turned, deepening the kiss as her mouth opened under his. His tongue flicked against hers with a soft glide that sent shivers down her spine, despite the heat flaring in every inch of her body. He slid one hand into her hair, fisting in it, as his other hand pressed into her lower back.

Suki's hands were in his hair, clasping the back of his neck, pulling him into her just as hard as he was pulling her to him. She could feel the desperate desire in him and it echoed through her too.

 _Oh Spirits, this is madness..._

Their mouths parted, heads buzzing for air, and he drew in a shaking breath against her lips. He waited for just a moment, the air between them hot and wild. Suki was past the point of no return, and a low moan escaped her as she impatiently tugged him back toward her mouth. He kissed her again, deeper, rougher as he lifted her again. She draped across him, her arms tight around his neck, her feet dangling.

All she could do was hold and kiss him—FINALLY KISS HIM!–and let her traitor's heart run wild. When Zuko turned them in place, she was vaguely aware of it, and didn't care one whit where he was taking her, so long as he didn't stop kissing her. His hand caught the underside of one knee and then he was pushing her backward onto the little bed in the middle of the room.

He settled in between her thighs, lifting his mouth for a hot breath that left her head spinning.

"Zuko," she started, but he caught her lips again, and she immediately lost the thread of her argument again. She couldn't seem to stop herself, her hands in his hair, her leg hooking around his possessively. Zuko's hand slid from her knee, up her thigh and then across the bare skin at her midriff.

She broke the wild, drugging kiss with a laugh that spilled between them, breathy and hot.

"Still ticklish?" Zuko said, his nose against hers, his fingers gently playing over her bare skin.

"Zuko," she pleaded, and bucked into him, not sure if she was begging him to stop or begging him to kiss her again. She wasn't sure what she wanted.

No, that was a lie. She knew exactly what she wanted, and that was the whole damned problem.

Zuko's eyes were heavy-lidded, shot through with desire. She knew that look well; he always looked at her like that, like he was starving and she was the only meal he wanted. Resisting that hunger had been the bane of her existence for months...

Zuko kissed her lips and then her chin, trailing his mouth down to her neck. Suki moaned and tipped her head back into the bed, her hands in his hair, holding him there, her entire world centering on the heat and wet pull of his mouth on her skin.

Goosebumps broke out over her skin as he kissed her neck, sucking at her skin and then biting down on her pulse point. Suki broke against him, lifting herself up with another desperate cry. Her hands slipped down and pushed into his shirt, wanting to touch him...finally touch him...

She was lost. She knew she was lost.

All it had taken was one stupid kiss and she was totally a goner for him. She'd known it, she'd always known it and that was why she'd avoided it. Because if Zuko kissed her, then she was his. End of story...

The proof was evident, as Suki got his shirt open, her hands moving fast and rough. Zuko didn't seem to mind, groaning against her neck and pulling heavily on her pulse point until she was panting, squirming at the sensations running roughshod through her overheated body.

She cried out again as she felt his teeth on her, and he immediately lifted up and slammed another one of those wild, rough kisses to her lips that left her in a melted puddle in his arms.

She yanked his shirt down his arms and he shrugged out of it, lifting up just to toss it aside. He turned back to her and grinned, his hair falling down across one shoulder.

"Come here," she said, lifting up and kissing him again. Zuko eagerly settled his weight back down across her body, his hand slipping up beneath her shirt and then squeezing her breast beneath her wrappings.

She realized with a start exactly where this was heading...and found that she didn't have the willpower to stop it. She wanted him. Had wanted him for much too long. She was going to sleep with him and damned be the consequences.

Her hands smoothed up Zuko's back as he pressed his crotch into hers, shifting against her with little rolls of his hips that rubbed against her in all the most wonderful ways. She lifted back into him, trying to tell him without words that she was ready, that she wanted this...

She knew that Zuko already knew. How long had they been dancing around this, after all?

A sharp blast broke the air apart, shocking Zuko into breaking the kiss. His head shot up and Suki blinked in confusion. The blast was followed by another serious of shrill _doot-doot-doot-da-dooos!_

The sound was all too familiar.

"Bloody hell," Zuko breathed as the blast sounded again, right outside their window.

"The Earth King? I thought he left?" she panted, confused, her legs still locked around Zuko's hips.

"If he wants to talk to me he make a damned appointment," Zuko mumbled, lowering himself back down across her body. She grasped his chin and stopped him from kissing her.

"Zuko!"

At the same moment there was a rap on the door, sharp and insistent.

"Zuko? The Earth King is back..."

"I'm _busy,_ Uncle!"

"I realize that but he's insisting on speaking to you again!" Iroh said in a hiss through the door. Zuko groaned and closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Zuko?"

"I'll be right there, Uncle," Zuko bit off and then looked down at her. "I'm sorry."

"It's...it's okay," she said, pulling her hands off of his hot skin like touching him would leave scars.

"It's not," he said and sat up. "Suki, I—"

"The Earth King is waiting."

He let out a frustrated noise and launched himself off of the bed, leaving her to sit up on her elbows, feeling entirely flustered, her body one big throbbing ache. Zuko run a hand down his face and then looked down at her.

"I'll be right back, Suki."

"I should-" she started, but Zuko was already wrenching the door open. He hadn't bothered to put his shirt back on, leaving no doubt about what they'd been about to do to anyone on the other side of the door. Including Iroh, who had to know what they had been doing anyway. She hadn't exactly been quiet...

Her face burned as she rolled off of the bed. Her legs were shaky as she grabbed Zuko's shirt from the floor. Panic and good sense were flooding back into her now that Zuko's hot energy had left the room. Suki wadded his shirt up in her arms and sank against the door, her heart beating out of control.

"What did I just do?"

* * *

"What is it?" Zuko said sharply the moment he left Suki's room, and about a half a second later he realized that he had forgotten to put his shirt back on. He swallowed and met his Uncle's gaze.

Iroh's bushy eyebrows lifted and he glanced at Zuko's chest, and then up into his nephew's scarred face, which was flushed, his topaz eyes bright with anger and frustration.

"You have lipstick on your mouth," Iroh said, pointing a little.

Zuko started, wiping at his mouth and finding a soft pink color smeared across his lips. He clenched his fist and glanced back behind him. "Thanks. Where is the Earth King?"

"In the shop. He wanted to speak to you."

"I'm not marrying-" he snarled, just as Bosco burst through the kitchen door and went straight for the honeycakes Iroh had sitting on the counter.

"No! SHOO!" Iroh said, waving his hands at the bear, who ignored him and started shoveling cakes into his mouth.

Zuko tapped his knuckle against his forehead, willing himself to have patience, but all he wanted was to turn right back around and continue with Suki where he'd left off. All he could feel was her hands on him, the taste of her mouth so desperate against his...and the way she had melted in his arms...

A shiver crested over his heated skin and that made up his mind. He was going to deal with the Earth King and then Suki was his.

Forever, if he had his way about it.

He charged past the bear and practically knocked the Earth King off of his feet when he pushed the door into him. The King looked surprised and bounced back a few steps.

"Sorry! Didn't realize you were there," Zuko said with more patience than he felt. "Was there something else you needed, King Kuei?"

"Ah, yes, well..." Kuei said, and then glanced past Zuko and spied Bosco reaching for some of Iroh's blueberry pies on the windowsill. "No! BAD BEAR! BOSCO! NO!"

Kuei charged past him and into the kitchen, leaving Zuko to stand there growing increasingly more aggravated.

"Next vacation I'm going to a deserted island," he mumbled and started to follow the Earth King back into the kitchen. He was stopped by a soft hand on his shoulder.

"Fire Lord Zuko, I hope there wasn't any awkwardness earlier," Daiyu, the Earth King's admittedly beautiful cousin said. Zuko looked at her in surprise. He hadn't noticed her when he came in through the door. "My cousin gets overly excited sometimes."

Zuko glanced at her and then back at the kitchen door. He could hear Kuei yelling at Bosco on the other side. There was a loud clatter and then a crash and he heard Iroh exclaim, "MY LECHE-NUT CAKES!"

"Yes, I'm well aware," Zuko said and looked back at Daiyu. "If you'll excuse me."

But Daiyu tightened her grip on his arm. "But of course, I told him that you might not be interested in a marriage. But he insisted! To make amends, I'd like to invite you and your...your _friend_ to the palace tomorrow night. We must honor the Fire Lord's visit properly. Besides, I'd love to make this embarrassing situation up to you."

"Uh...that sounds..." Zuko started and glanced back at the kitchen door. There was another crash and then a loud crack. The bear gave a mournful roar and there was a sound like wood cracking. "Great, yeah, that sounds great. I have to go!"

He shook Daiyu off of him and ducked back into the kitchen—and promptly slipped in a large pile of blueberry pie filling. He hit his ass and the door to the kitchen slammed shut, leaving him lying on the kitchen floor, cursing his own existence.

It took another ten minutes to wrangle the hungry bear out the back door, with the King making his apologies and shoving money at a disgruntled Iroh for his ruined food and the damage the bear had done to the kitchen. By the time the King's part had left for a second time, the place looked a crime scene.

"I hate that bear," Iroh said flatly while Zuko was tried to wipe blueberry filling off of his trousers. "What did the Earth King want?"

Zuko flinched, remembering Daiyu's invitation. "I think I said yes to a state dinner tomorrow night."

"How nice."

"I'd rather cut off my own head, but I didn't feel like I had a choice. I already snubbed the Earth King once. The least I can do is go to dinner at the palace. And...they invited Suki too."

He looked up at Iroh, whose eyebrows were raised, creating deep lines in his forehead. Iroh glanced at Zuko's bare chest.

"Things are getting serious?"

"I followed your advice."

Iroh grinned at him. "It looks like it worked."

Zuko's face grew red and he glanced back at the door of Suki's room. "Yeah, thanks..."

"Go. I'll clean up," Iroh said and then thought better of it. "Later. I think I'll go for a walk and get some fresh air."

With that, he winked at Zuko and escaped through the kitchen door the same way the Earth King's entourage had left, leaving Zuko standing in the mess in the kitchen, his heart in his throat.

He swallowed and walked over to the closed door of Suki's room.

"Suki? It's me," he said, but there was no answer. "Suki?"

He knocked on the door, but she didn't answer him. Frowning, he pulled on the rice paper door, sliding it open slowly. The room was empty, save his shirt sitting folded on the end of the bed.

Suki was gone.


	7. Seven

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

It was dark by the time Suki let herself into the back door of the tea shop, her hands shaking nervously, her lips pressed together. She immediately found herself staring at Iroh, who looked up from a sink full of dishes.

"Captain," Iroh said, nodding.

"Hello," she said in a small, cowardly voice that didn't sound anything like her own. She glanced around the kitchen, but Zuko was nowhere to be found.

"He went looking for you," Iroh said softly, pulling his hands out of the water and drying them on the towel draped over his shoulder. "Hours ago. He was worried when he couldn't find you, and when you didn't come back."

Guilt flashed in Suki's middle and she bit down on her bottom lip. Misery followed moments later and she closed her eyes tightly. "He shouldn't be wandering the city alone."

"I told him that, but my nephew is rather headstrong."

"I know."

"And he loves you. You know that, right?"

Suki looked up at Iroh, a stunned expression on her face. "No, he doesn't."

But Iroh shook his head, his eyes soft with sadness. "I know him too well, Suki. He's been lost for you for quite some time now. I'm not even sure he realizes just how much yet, but rest assured, his feelings are real. I admit that I do not know what is going on between you, or how you feel for him, but he was very upset when you disappeared this morning. He was frantic. He thought he had done something wrong. Had he? Did he push you too far?"

Suki started.

"No! Of course not! He didn't do anything wrong, it was me," she softly, coming over to the sink and putting her hands into the hot water. She started washing the dishes, the hot water as scalding as her confusing feelings. "I shouldn't have... It wasn't right."

"And why not?"

She blushed and gently swirled the sea sponge around the inside of a delicate porcelain cup. "He's... He's the Fire Lord. And I'm..."

"A wonderful woman. One that has feelings for him, unless I missed my mark. No matter how much you try to deny them," Iroh said softly, patting her on the back of her shoulder. She glanced at him and then sighed.

"I don't know what I feel. I shouldn't be feeling anything at all. I'm his bodyguard. I can't cross that line, it's unprofessional...and..." She stopped, the words choking on her tongue. "It can't work, so why bother?"

"Who says it can't work? My nephew doesn't care that you're his bodyguard. He doesn't see you that way. He sees a friend, a beautiful woman, and someone he cares very deeply about," Iroh said, taking the tea cup from her, rinsing and then drying it gently. "He's not the kind of man who lightly gives his heart away."

"I know," Suki whispered, hanging her head. The misery she'd been feeling all afternoon came rolling back over her in a black wave of despair. She had run, and she knew it. She had left her duty, afraid of her own feelings and ashamed by her own actions.

She had been weak, giving in to her feelings for Zuko. She had crossed a line she had never wanted to cross. And she had done it so easily that it had scared her. Her feelings scared her, and they always had. All he had to do was look at her and she was ready to fall at his feet, and forget every vow she'd ever taken.

She didn't know what to do. She knew how she felt, but she also knew she shouldn't be feeling those things. And Zuko...

Zuko would thank her, eventually, for pushing him away. He had to. He was meant for someone else, someone highborn and beautiful like the King's cousin Daiyu, and this thing between them, whatever it was, it couldn't last. It couldn't be anything more than a distraction for the both of them.

If she gave, if she followed her heart, what would happen eventually? He'd make his plans to marry someone appropriate like Daiyu or a Fire Nation lady, and she would be left scrambling to pick up the pieces of her dignity. It might ruin everything.

If they followed this path to its conclusion, then there would be no coming back. She knew she could never be just friends with him after that. She couldn't stay at her job, she couldn't stand back and watch him marry and fall in love with some other woman.

And that was all she saw at the end of this road. Her heartbreak, and Zuko's regret and embarrassment. It seemed so inevitable to her.

So she had to be strong. She had to push him away. For both of their benefits.

It was the right thing to do.

 _So then why does it feel like my heart is shattering?_ she thought as she swirled the sponge over the dishes, trying to scrub away her misery. It didn't help. Her dark feelings, and the heartbreak she felt clung to the insides of her, sticking in the hard to reach places of her heart.

"I don't want things to change between us."

"I think they already have," Iroh said softly, just as the back door opened and Zuko stepped inside. She hitched in a breath as Zuko stopped, their gazes meeting.

"Suki," he breathed. "You're back. I looked for you everywhere. I was so worried! Are you okay?"

Suki pulled her hands out of the water and glanced at Iroh, who nodded at her with sad eyes. She wiped her hands on her pants and said softly, "I'm fine. I...I think we should talk."

"I do too," Zuko said, and swallowed. He looked miserable, as miserable as she felt. Her nerves hardened and she gestured to the back door. Zuko opened the door again, letting her step out first. The night air was cool against her heated skin, and she breathed in the scent of the peach tree blossoms as Zuko stepped outside behind her, closing the kitchen door with a gentle click.

Suki sat down on the bench beneath the tree, trying to hide the shake in her hands as Zuko sat down next to her. The moon was out, spilling blue shadows over everything. She looked up at Zuko and her heart caught in her throat.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time. Zuko stopped and then laughed a little.

"You first," he said.

Suki took a breath and licked her lips. She found that she couldn't look at him, bathed in the moonlight. He was too beautiful, too tempting, and it made her resolve and her reasons seem as fleeting as the moonbeams dappling the courtyard.

"I'm sorry for just disappearing this morning. I owe you an explanation," she said, sitting upright, as if perfect posture would give her the strength to break her own heart. "I just needed some time to think."

"You don't owe me an apology," Zuko said, hanging his head, his elbows on his knees. "I know it was my fault. I pushed you too far this morning. I...I lost control and things got out of hand."

"You didn't push me, Zuko. I was just as much a participant as you were," she said and then sighed. "And that's the problem."

"Why is that a problem?" he asked, sitting up right and grasping her hand. His eyes were huge in the moonlight. Her heart gave a hard squeeze and she felt tingling in her toes, just remembering the way he had kissed her that morning, the way she had arched into his body, so eager to sate the roaring needs in her.

The need for him that she had been trying and failing to ignore for months.

"Zuko..."

"You know how I feel," he said softly. "I haven't been hiding it. And I know you have feelings for me too."

"What I feel doesn't matter," she said firmly, a pain in her chest now, sharp and ragged, like an arrow piercing flesh. "We can't do this. It's a mistake, and maybe you don't realize it right now, but you will."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means..." She squeezed her eyes shut, her throat closing. "It means you're the Fire Lord and I'm your bodyguard, and one day you're going to realize that."

"You think I don't know that? Suki, this isn't about that," Zuko said, wrapping both of his hands around hers and squeezing.

"Yes, it is."

"You can't think I'm shallow enough to care about something so stupid and inconsequential?! What does it matter?"

"It just does!" she said, jerking her hand away from his. "It may not matter to you right now, but it _will!_ You're supposed to be with someone like Lady Daiyu, not...not someone like me. The sooner you realize that, the better."

"I don't want to be with someone like Daiyu. I want to be with you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do!" Zuko said, his voice rising. "You're stubborn, and smart, and beautiful. You're competent and clever, and funny, and when I'm with you it's like everything in my life makes sense! You make me feel things I didn't know I could feel...and you don't even seem to realize it! You're incredible, Suki. Why would I ever want anyone else? Tell me why."

He touched her face, tilting her chin so that was looking at him. His eyes were sad, and desperate in the moonlight. She fought the urge to kiss him, wanting nothing more than to give in, to take what he was so clearly offering her.

Tears spilled down her cheeks and she stood, jerking back from his touch.

"We can't do this, Zuko. You'll thank me one day."

"Suki-"

"Just let it go," she said, walking toward the back door of the shop. He surged up from the bench and caught her hand, turning toward him.

"I can't," he said, searching her gaze. Tears swam in her eyes. "I won't. I know you feel the same way that I do. I know you do."

"Zuko, please..." she said, emotion choking her. "Please, don't do this to me."

Zuko looked stunned and his hand dropped away from her cheek. "I don't want to hurt you, Suki. And I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do."

 _But I do want you,_ she thought desperately, her traitor's heart pounding in her chest. She forced her emotions down, but there was no escaping them.

"Then just pretend this morning didn't happen, okay? Please."

Zuko frowned and backed up a step. "If that's what you need me to do, then I'll try. But I still don't understand. I don't, Suki. Whatever's going on in that beautiful head of yours, whatever arguments you've made up to hide behind, I don't understand them. I know how I feel."

"Well, I don't know how I feel, okay?" she said, sniffing and wiping at her blurry eyes, smearing tears across her cheeks. "I need some space. I...I need to think."

Zuko took a breath and then cupped her face again. His thumbs brushed her cheeks, wiping her tears away with gentle strokes. "Take all the time you need, Suki. I won't push you. And I'd... I'd wait forever for you."

She hitched in a breath at the certainty in his voice. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he said, tipping her chin up. Their eyes met and she felt herself sinking into the heat of his eyes, his emotion clear, his desire like a live electrical spark that sizzled her. Suki leaned in, unable to stop herself. Zuko tilted his head and slid a gentle kiss across her lips before she could do so much as blink. It was over far too quickly, the barest brush of his lips against hers...and yet she still felt that roar in her veins, the need that surged through her, demanding satisfaction.

She wanted to reach for him, to grasp him and pull him back to her. She wanted to feel his hands on her again, hot and needy... Desire shot her, undeniable, unmistakeable, dangerous, and drugging...

Confusion and misery tumbled through her and she ached in the middle of her body, in a hollow only he could fill.

"Zuko..." she started, but he shook his head, sweeping her hair back behind her ear.

"The next time I kiss you, it'll be because you asked me to."

She bit her bottom lip. "What if I never ask?"

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see," he said and took another step away. "Until then, I'll be a good boy and keep my hands to myself."

"Do you think you can?" she shot at him, brow lifting.

But Zuko's playful smile, the one that melted her instantly every time she saw it, came sidling along his lips with a simmering rush. "Do you think _you_ can, Captain?"

But she didn't have a reply to that. She was too busy remembering the way she'd all but ripped his shirt off of him. Heat filled her cheeks.

"I guess we'll see," she said.

Zuko's smile grew wider. "I guess so. Of course, it may get awkward tomorrow night. The Earth King invited us to dinner at the palace, and we're supposed to be madly in love with each other. I think that was your idea, wasn't it?"

Before she could reply, he bowed at her and ducked into the kitchen, leaving her alone in the dark courtyard, her heart in her throat, and her body on fire with desire.

She thought about having to pretend she was in love with Zuko while also pretending that she wasn't in love with him. It made her head spin. What a mess.

And she only had herself to blame.

* * *

Zuko closed the back door, his hands shaking, his heart aching in his chest like he'd run a marathon. He glanced at Iroh, who was putting dishes away and humming to himself. Upon hearing the door close, Iroh turned to him, brows raised.

"How did it go?"

"I don't know," he said honestly, feeling his misery return like a bad penny. "She shut me out again. I don't think she knows what she wants."

"She's a complicated young woman."

"She's stubborn, I'll give her that."

"Do you want my advice?"

Zuko sighed and leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "I already kissed her, Uncle. And now here I am. Even worse off than before, because now I know what it's like to kiss her, and all I want is to keep doing it. She's going to drive me to drink."

But Iroh shook his head. "It's not her you need to kiss now."

"Beg pardon?"

Iroh winked and laid his finger against his nose. "Jealousy is a powerful thing if used correctly."

Zuko thought for a moment and then remembered the look on Suki's face in the courtyard this morning, when she had seen him speaking to Lady Daiyu. She hadn't just been jealous...she had been downright territorial.

Zuko grinned at his uncle and shook his head. "You're a devious old man, you know that?"

"Love is often war. You don't win wars if you're not willing to fight dirty sometimes."

"You think I love her?"

"Don't you?" Iroh shot at him, but it wasn't a question.

His uncle knew him too well, and he had never been good at hiding his feelings anyway.

He was in love with Suki.

And he was damned sure not about to give up on her now.


	8. Eight

"Welcome, welcome," a warm voice said, reaching forward and grasping Zuko's wrist. Zuko half-bowed to the Earth King, who had rushed up to greet them at the doorway to the palace's grand dining room. "I'm so pleased that you could come, Fire Lord Zuko."

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world," Zuko said politely, as the Earth King stood up straight and let go of his hand. " _We_ wouldn't miss it, actually." He gestured to Suki beside him, whom the Earth King had ignored out of hand the moment they'd walked in. She took a half-step forward, her stomach roiling with nerves.

"Oh yes, of course!" Kuei said, turning to Suki and bowing to her as she did the same. "You look lovely, Captain!"

"Thank you, your Majesty," Suki said stiffly, bowing to him, and then glancing around the room. She noted the courtiers, the King's bear Bosco chewing on something meaty in the corner, and the musicians playing.

It was a massive room, opulently appointed in rich shades of jade and gold. All of the courtiers were dressed in lush fabrics in the same greens and golds. They looked like jeweled iguana-parrots, watching them with interest.

Suki felt very much like a drab little bird beside them, a brown thrush-newt, too plain to be seen in such bright company. She was wearing a simple dress of light green, edged with lace, with bell sleeves and a long skirt split at the side. She had her fan and sword strapped to her thigh, easily reachable through the slit.

Zuko was wearing his official Fire Lord robes again, and they made him look impressive and regal, a ruby among the emeralds. She couldn't keep her eyes off of him, and, she noticed, neither could the Earth King's courtiers.

"I can see why our young Fire Lord is so taken with you!" Kuei said politely after an awkward pause, his smile almost as stiff as Suki's posture.

"Actually, we broke up last night," Zuko said easily, shocking her. She swallowed and glanced at him, but his expression was bland and unconcerned. She frowned.

"Oh? You...you did?" the Earth King said, looking just as shocked as Suki felt. She hadn't known that he was going to tell them that. And while their relationship had been just a ruse to get the Earth King off of his back about marrying his cousin, something about his sudden announcement filled her with pain.

After nearly sleeping together the day before, and the strangeness of their conversation last night, she had made it a point to avoid him. She had thought it was the best thing to do. Better to get her head on straight, and better for him if she put some distance between them.

After all, if she wasn't around him, then she wouldn't be tempted to kiss him or let her feelings show again. It was the best course of action.

But she had missed him all day, and going to this stupid dinner with the Earth King had meant that they were thrown back together, all the awkwardness still there between them, her heart still aching like mad. They hadn't spoken since last night. She had no idea what he was thinking.

And just like that, he'd broken up with her.

Suki's eyes narrowed. What exactly was Zuko playing at?

She didn't have time to ask him, because the Earth King's cousin seemed to materialize from out of nowhere. Lady Daiyu was looking as beautiful as ever, jewels cascading from the elaborate coiffure of her curled hair. Her makeup was subtle and effective, gold lining her green eyes and making them sparkle. Her dress was gold, shimmering and cut to show off her figure in daring ways. She looked delicate and expensive.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Daiyu purred and reached forward, looping her arm with Zuko's. "I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm so sorry things didn't work out between you."

"Suki decided that we should just be friends."

Zuko glanced at her and Suki bristled, her throat closing with emotion as she watched Daiyu tighten her arm on Zuko's.

"Oh, you poor dear," Daiyu said. "And to bring her along to dinner in the palace anyway. You're very generous. Let me show you to your seat. You can sit next to me..."

And she dragged Zuko off, leaving Suki standing near the door, her face burning with humiliation. Tears welled in her eyes and she clutched at her throat. The Earth King, who had watched the whole thing with a frown on his face, turned back to her.

"Are you alright, Captain?"

She plastered on a fake smile and drew herself up. "I'm fine, your Majesty. Thank you for inviting me. I'm sure the evening will be lovely."

She bowed to him and started toward the table, unable to take the knowing look on his face, or the way everyone was staring at her now. Zuko's voice had carried. She had felt out of place before, but now she felt unwelcome and rebuked.

People started whispering behind their hands and looking at her.

Zuko stared at her from across the table and their eyes met for one hot moment. Suki swallowed and looked away.

She didn't know what game he was playing with her all of a sudden, but she wasn't going to let it work on her. Whatever was going on in that stupid head of his, she would just ignore it.

All she had to do was get through the evening.

 _I can do this,_ she thought as the Earth King sat and then gestured for everyone else to follow. She had been hastily reseated across the table from Zuko and Daiyu. She watched as Daiyu laid her hand on Zuko's and laughed about something he had said.

Suki's eyes narrowed and she slipped her hand into the slit of her skirt, her hand gripping the pommel of her sword. She imagined cutting off the beautiful girl's hand, and then pushed the thought back.

 _I can do this. I can do this..._

* * *

Zuko watched Suki out of the corner of his eye as he ate. Dinner at the Earth King's palace was always a sumptuous affair, with course after course of rich, exotic food. He barely tasted any of it, however. His stomach was sour, regret for what he'd done already flooding through him.

His plan to make Suki jealous had already backfired, and he could tell. He hadn't realized what breaking up with her—lie though it had been—would do to her at the party. He hadn't even considered the way everyone would be treating her. From the moment he'd announced that they'd broken up, she had been kicked to the side by every single person in the Earth King's court.

The people seated next to her weren't speaking to her. They were ignoring her like...

 _Like she's nothing but a servant. Like she's just my bodyguard._

Zuko's throat closed.

He had fucked up and he knew it. He'd been trying to make Suki jealous, not make her feel like she wasn't wanted. That was the opposite of what he wanted.

 _I'm so stupid,_ he thought, glancing at Lady Daiyu, who was prattling on about something he hadn't even heard. He tried to pay attention, but he kept drifting back to Suki, kicking himself for his stupidity.

"And of course, this means you're free to discuss my cousin's marriage proposal again," Daiyu said, calling his attention back to her. He blinked at her blankly.

"Uh...what?"

"Now that you and, uh...your bodyguard are no longer together, you're free to discuss the marriage," she said, batting her eyelashes at him.

"I'm not interested in marriage right now."

Daiyu glanced down the table at the Earth King, and then slipped her hand under the table. She touched his leg and squeezing his knee. Zuko's eyes popped as she leaned in close. "If you'd rather just bed me, Fire Lord Zuko, then I think you'll find me very... _pliable_..."

And her hand slipped even higher.

Zuko jerked in place, his knee slamming into the underside of the table with a bang hard enough to make the glasses dance on the tablecloth and the dishes rattle. Everyone turned to look at him and he slapped his lips together, his eyes wide.

"Sorry...muscle cramp."

He glanced at Suki, and saw that she was staring at him from across the table. Her food was untouched before her. She looked pale and on the verge of tears. Zuko swallowed and reached under the table. His hand caught Daiyu's.

"You're very forward."

"I know what I want," she said softly, and her tongue slid along her bottom lip. "Why bother pretending otherwise?"

"I do admire your honesty," he said grimly, privately wishing that Suki could be as straightforward about her feelings as Daiyu. It would make things a lot easier on all of them...and maybe then he wouldn't have gotten them both into this nasty situation. Zuko shoved her hand off of his crotch and then met her green eyes. "But now is not the time or place."

Daiyu sat back a little, her smile slow and simmering. "After dinner then?"

"Uh..." Zuko started, wondering how he could let her down without offending her. He had been trying to use her to make Suki jealous, and he'd apparently done too good a job. Then again, he was pretty sure Daiyu had been eager to eat him alive even before he'd even shown up in Ba Sing Se for this stupid, stressful vacation.

He'd been dumb enough to try and play her, and gotten played himself. Now he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

All he'd wanted was to make Suki jealous enough to admit how she felt, but he'd isolated and insulted her and now Daiyu thought he wanted to sleep with her.

Great. _Fantastic._

Zuko was mercifully rescued by the Earth King, who announced to everyone that he had hired acrobats to entertain them while they ate. The music swelled and the acrobats burst through the door, tumbling and gamboling, walking on their hands and flipping and slipping over chairs and the table.

It was too loud for conversation after that, and Zuko was grateful. He kept watching Suki across the table, and saw that she was picking at her food, but not really eating it. She looked miserable and on the verge of tears again.

The last thing he'd wanted was to hurt her and he knew that he had.

 _I'm the world's stupidest man. I really don't deserve her._

* * *

Dinner ended none too soon. Suki hadn't eaten much. Everything tasted like ashes, and there was a bitter tang in the back of her throat. She'd been fighting tears the whole time, even though she had been trying to tell herself that it was for the best. That this was what she'd wanted.

Wasn't it?

Zuko was supposed to be flirting with someone like Daiyu. He was supposed to forget about her and move on. Right?

Jealousy and hurt curdled in her guts and she fought the urge to sprint for the door with each new course. She nearly slipped out when the acrobats came in, but stayed where she was, ignored and unwanted at the Earth King's table, totally out of her element.

She was determined not to let anyone see her cry. Especially not Zuko.

The last plate was swept away and they all followed the Earth King and his retinue into a plush sitting room, where drinks were handed out. There were rich velvet chairs and couches spread across the room, and a large harp in the corner that a musician started playing. The melody was soothing and soft, but it jangled her nerves just the same.

She stood near the door, watching everyone talking and drinking. Zuko was ensconced with the Earth King near the roaring fireplace, Daiyu still hanging on his arm.

She wondered what they could be discussing.

Probably marriage.

And why not? She had rejected Zuko...why wouldn't he consider marrying Daiyu after all? It would strengthen the ties between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. It made so much sense. Much more sense than the Fire Lord falling in love with his peasant bodyguard...

A bodyguard who couldn't even bring herself to admit that she was head over heels in love with him.

A sob left her. Suki felt her tears spill, unbidden and unwanted. She jammed her hand against her mouth and darted for the door, before anyone could see.

No one stopped her. No one paid her any mind.

* * *

Zuko saw Suki sprint for the door out of the corner of his eye. His heart clenched and he immediately shook Daiyu off of his arm. "Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment."

And without waiting for a reply, he marched to the door and followed Suki out. He stopped in the hallway, frowning. Suki was nowhere to be seen, and the corridor was empty.

"Suki?" he called, choosing a direction and heading down the hall, which was lined with golden doors, leading who-knew-where. He'd been to the Earth Palace many times, but it was still a giant maze to him, and he had no idea where he was, or where Suki might have run off to.

He opened a door at random and stepped into a small study, lined with bookshelves. There were animal heads on the walls, and furniture scattered around in the darkened room.

Deciding that Suki wasn't in here, Zuko turned to walk out, and found himself facing Lady Daiyu, who closed the door behind her with a little smile on her face.

Zuko's eyes widened.

"Uh..."

"I thought perhaps we could continue our discussion."

"D-discussion?" he said stupidly, even though he was pretty sure he knew what Daiyu wanted to talk about. Or rather, what she wanted to do. She was chewing on her bottom lip as she walked toward him. "I told you, I...I'm not considering marriage right now. It's not you, please don't take it personally, I...I just..."

Daiyu put her finger on his lips and shushed him. "Marriage is so limiting. I've had so many offers already. Wealthy men, and powerful men...and beautiful men."

"And uh...why did you say no?"

"Because none of them could pleasure me properly. I'm a woman of refined tastes...and an insatiable appetite. Marriage is so...final. I won't settle for anything less than total," Daiyu said, reaching for his belt, "wild... _passionate_ sexual fulfillment." And she yanked him forward. Zuko's eyes bulged.

"Oh, wow..."

"Take off your pants, Fire Lord Zuko," Daiyu said softly, lifting up, her breath warm against his mouth.

"Oh, Spirits," Zuko said, backing up a step and knocking her hand off of his belt. "Whoa! You...you are... That's! WOW! Oh, boy! You...are _very_ pretty and you know what you want and I admire that! I do! I'm very flattered!"

"Then what's the problem? Don't you want me?"

Zuko opened his mouth and backed up a step. He pointed to the door, his brain completely shut off at the moment. He was in way over his head and he knew it. And he only had himself to blame for it.

 _Stupid, stupid, STUPID!_

"I...Suki," he said wildly, his ability to string sentences together completely leaving him. "Totally in love with her."

"She broke up with you."

"Yeah..." he started, backing up another step. "She's complicated. And perfect and too good for me and I really shouldn't have flirted with you. I'm...really good at making a situation worse."

"So you were flirting with me?" Daiyu advanced on him and he found himself pressed against the door, unable to find an escape.

"I was trying to make her jealous."

"Imagine how jealous she'd be if you took me right here, right now," Daiyu said, smoothing her hand down his chest. "I don't mind sharing. Perhaps the three of us could work something out together?"

"Uh..." Zuko trailed off, his mind catching on that interesting mental image for a split second too long. His hesitation was enough for Daiyu. She surged up and kissed him. Zuko's eyes popped again and he immediately grasped her arms and shoved her back. "You are _really_ aggressive!"

"Most men like that," she purred and surged forward to kiss him again, but Zuko slipped to the side, grasping the door and wrenching it open.

"I'm not most men," Zuko said and slammed the door in her face. He leaned back against the door for a split second, trying to capture his breath. It took him a few seconds too long to realize that he wasn't alone in the corridor.

He looked up and met a pair of angry, wet blue eyes.

"Suki!"

"You have lipstick on your mouth," she said and then turned on her heel and marched away from him, leaving him there with his heart in his throat and his foot entirely in his mouth.


	9. Nine

**CHAPTER NINE:**

* * *

"Suki!" Zuko called after her, but she ignored him, her heels clacking on the marble floors, tears blinding her. "Suki, wait! PLEASE!"

She didn't know where she was going. All she wanted was a moment to breathe, to make the pain in her chest stop. Instead all she could think about was the way Daiyu had touched Zuko at the dinner table, and the lipstick on his mouth.

"SUKI!" Zuko said, grasping her arm and swinging her around. She was almost blinded by her tears now. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp immediately.

"Don't touch me!" she said, wiping at her face. "Are you happy? Is this what you wanted?"

"No!"

"I know you were trying to make me jealous!"

"I..." Zuko started, and then deflated. He lifted a hand and wiped at the lipstick smeared across his mouth. "Yeah, okay. I was. It was stupid of me. A jerk move. I'm sorry."

"You were trying to hurt me!"

"I wasn't! I swear, I just... I just wanted you to admit that you had feelings for me!" he said, staring at her with pain in his eyes. "I thought... I thought you just needed a little...kick..."

Anger reared in her, overcrowding the hurt. She shoved him in the shoulder. "A little _kick?_ You asshole!"

"I know it was stupid! I'm sorry!"

"Just leave me alone, Zuko!" she shot at him, tears hot and scalding as they poured from her eyes. "Go back to Lady Daiyu! I'm sure she's dying for you to pop the question."

"It's not the question she wants me to pop," Zuko mumbled, making her wheel on him, anger flaring in her.

"And you certainly encouraged her!"

"I'm not interested in her, dammit! I only want you! And you're too damned stubborn to admit you feel the exact same way that I do!"

"I told you my reasons!"

"I told you I thought they were bullshit!" Zuko said, rearing up at her, not caring that their voices were echoing in the corridor of the Earth King's palace. He didn't care about anything except Suki, and the pain in his chest. He had hurt her and he knew it, and he had no idea how to make it right.

"My reasons are...they're not bullshit!" Suki argued. "You saw how they treated me in there the minute they realized I was just your bodyguard again! They ignored me! They knew what I was! Just a servant!"

"FUCK THEM!" Zuko said, jabbing his finger in the direction of the dining room. "I don't care about them! I care about _you!_ I'm not caught up in their stupid class snobbery and I never will be! Who cares what I am? Who cares what you are? It doesn't matter!"

"Yes, it does!"

Zuko ran a hand down his face. "You are one stubborn woman, you know that?"

"And you're a stubborn asshole."

"So you don't want to be with me, but you're also mad at me for flirting with Daiyu. You realize that makes you a hypocrite?"

"I'm not a hypocrite...I..." Suki stopped, wiping at her eyes. She was shaking with anger. "I'm just confused."

"That's makes two of us," he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "But I said I wouldn't push you. Guess I'm an asshole _and_ a liar. You're just kind of..."

"Kind of what?"

"Sending mixed signals," he said miserably. "I'm not blaming you, please don't think that I am. I just don't know what's going on in your head. You clearly want me as much as I want you, but you won't admit it. Making you jealous made it worse."

"You really thought it would make it better?"

"Not now, but yeah. Uncle thought it might work. I told you, I thought maybe you'd finally admit to yourself how you feel. But I clearly messed that up."

"I...I have my reasons, Zuko. You know that."

"I know you think you have your reasons but I'm never going to accept them. I just don't agree with them, Suki," he said, shrugging and looking defeated. "So I'm telling you right now that you being my bodyguard, and me being your boss, or whatever you want to call it...that doesn't matter to me. I don't care. It's not an issue for me. I don't think it's unprofessional for us to be involved. If that's the issue, then...then it's stupid, I'm sorry. It's stupid."

"You're not thinking with your head."

Zuko laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "No, probably not... Where you're concerned I tend to think with the less evolved parts of my body. I tend to make stupid decisions and flirt with aggressive women who scare me a little."

Suki's eyebrows raised. "Did Daiyu get a little handsy?"

"She's a woman who knows what she wants, that's for sure."

"You _did_ lead her on."

"I'm pretty sure she would have tried something even if we hadn't fake broken up. That's probably why we were invited to dinner, come to think of it. Actually, she uh...she suggested a threesome..." Zuko said, frowning and glancing behind him in the corridor, as if afraid Daiyu would appear any second.

Suki laughed, her hand over her mouth. "Did she really? Were you tempted?"

But Zuko shook his head. "Not even a little. I don't want her, Suki. I want you. Just you."

Suki leaned against the wall, staring at the floor. Her head was a mass of confusion, tumbling with pain and desire.

"Zuko..."

But Zuko cupped her face, wiping at her tears the way he had the night before, gently, his expression soft and open. "I told you I wouldn't push. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do. I'm sorry about tonight."

"I just...need some time to think."

"I told you I'd wait forever, and I meant it," he said and then sadness touched his scarred eyes. "You're worth the wait, Suki. I know you are."

She thought that he was going to kiss her, but he stepped back and bowed to her. "Zuko..."

"The Earth King is probably wondering where I am," he held out his hand to her. "Come back with me, and we can say our goodbyes. I think I've had enough of this party."

"You just don't want to run into Daiyu alone again, do you?"

"She grabbed my crotch," he said in a high-pitched voice. "I think she might secretly be one of those insects that eats the male's head after she mates with them!"

Suki laughed, wiping at her eyes again. She looped her arm with Zuko's and he lead her down the corridor. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

Zuko smiled at her warmly. "I know."

* * *

Zuko kept his word, giving her the space she needed to think. They didn't speak much when they went back to the Jasmine Dragon that night, and the next morning he wordlessly joined her for her morning workout. He didn't push things.

He seemed to content to leave the ball in her court. Her anger at his actions at the Earth King's dinner faded. He seemed contrite, and she knew he had only done to prove a point. That it had blown up so spectacularly in his face had helped ease her hurt feelings.

Just a little.

Three more days passed, and the end of Zuko's week-long vacation to Ba Sing Se drew near. Despite how confused she still was and the pain of that evening at the palace, the vacation had been much-needed by the both of them. Despite the awkwardness between them, things had settled back into their usual routine by the second day.

She still caught Zuko looking at her with his heart in his eyes, though, and try as she might she couldn't stop thinking about that morning in her room, when she had come so close to giving in to the thing she wanted more than anything.

She could still feel that need in her, that deep, desperate ache that begged for satisfaction. Zuko was right. She did want him. Physically, emotionally...with every inch of her body, her heart, her soul...

She couldn't really lie to herself anymore. She knew how she felt.

But her reasons, as much as he had hand-waved them, still stood. She knew she was right. Whatever was between them couldn't last. It just wasn't logical.

And yet...

She found herself talking herself into making a move. She couldn't help it. She sat in the courtyard after the tea shop had closed, watching Zuko play Pai Sho with Iroh. They were laughing and talking. Zuko looked totally relaxed, one foot on the seat of the chair he was sitting on, his arm draped over his knee. His hair was down, and the soft, warm breeze was catching little strands and sending them dancing in the sunlight.

Her heart ached as she clutched the book she had been trying to read. Her hands shook, and madness swelled over her.

She came to a decision. This had to stop. And she had to stop it right here, right now, and she had to do it on her terms, before her heart got her into trouble she might never be able to get out of again.

* * *

The night before they were due to leave Ba Sing Se on the first train of the morning, Zuko came out of his room, only to find Suki speaking to his uncle in a low voice. Iroh nodded and then patted her on the shoulder.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Iroh said softly and then smiled. "You know, I was thinking, I haven't been up to the palace to play Pai Sho with the Earth King in a while. I'll be back after midnight. Don't wait up."

Zuko's mouth opened to say something, but Iroh had ducked out of the back door before he could, leaving him alone with Suki in his uncle's meticulously clean kitchen.

"What was that about?" Zuko asked, frowning. "He ran out like his tail was on fire."

"I, um... I asked him if we could have a few hours alone, actually," Suki said, wringing her hands a little nervously. Zuko's mouth immediately went dry and he swallowed, freezing in place.

"You did?"

"Yes," Suki said and drew in a breath, smoothing her hands down the front of her dress. It was one he'd never seen her wear before, short and made of blue fabric that set off her eyes. She looked beautiful enough to make his heart ache. "I've been thinking."

"You have?"

Suki nodded and walked over to him. "Yes. About us."

Zuko's heart gave a leap. "Uh-huh."

"And I think you had a point. Obviously I'm attracted to you. Obviously there's...something between us."

"Obviously."

"So I thought...if you wanted to..." Suki said, biting her lip and looking up at him with wide blue eyes. "Perhaps you could make love to me tonight?"

"You're serious?" Zuko breathed as Suki's big eyes flicked to his mouth and back to his face.

"Yes."

"If you're still confused... I told you, I don't want to push you into doing something you don't want to do," he said, frowning. "You know how I feel, but..."

She stopped him with her finger on his lips. "I want this, Zuko."

Zuko took her hand, feeling his blood pounding in his veins. He studied her face, the seriousness resting in her delicate brows. He took a breath and then whispered, "Ask me to kiss you."

Suki drew in a ragged breath and whispered, "Would you kiss me, Zuko?"

It was all he needed. He surged forward, wrapping his arms around her and slamming an excited, wild kiss to her lips. She enthusiastically returned it, her arms wrapping around his neck immediately. Her kiss was as wild as his, just as hungry, just as needy.

Zuko wanted to crow in triumph. Finally! Finally this was happening! She'd finally come around and admitted it...she wanted him...

He wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He wanted to kiss her and make love to her, and never stop. And most of all, he wanted to tell her how he _really_ felt.

He wanted to tell her that he was in love with her.

He kissed her hard as he bent over her, his hands sliding down her back to her ass. She didn't protest when he cupped her through her skirt, tugging her lower body into his.

Emboldened, blood roaring through him and burning through any hesitation he may have had, he grasped the bottom of her dress and pulled it up and over her head. She laughed and tossed it free as he wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her back in for a long, hard kiss. Her arms looped around his neck, her fingers in his hair as he feathered kisses across her lips, his hands exploring her naked back.

He turned them then, walking her backward toward one of the guest bedrooms. He realized it was her room after they fumbled their way inside, snapping the sliding door closed with a bang. Their hands were everywhere, touching each other, their need undeniable.

Suki hummed into his mouth, one of her hands sliding in between them and dipping into the front of his pants. She carded her fingers through the hair on his lower belly and then wrapped her hands around the root of his cock. He was hard for her in an instant, his body remembering that morning in her room and how much he had ached for her ever since.

"Suki..." he breathed against her lips as everything tightened at her gently squeezing touch. He groaned and kissed her again as she huffed a little laugh, her hand stroking him until he was achingly hard. His blood roared and he felt light-headed, kissing her until his lips were buzzing.

He grasped the edges of his pants and shimmied them down his hips as Suki pulled back, letting go of him. Her dark blue eyes were soft, her lips wet and open as she watched him shuck off his pants and then his shirt. He reached for her when he had kicked them both free, but she put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him down on the end of the bed.

He landed with a hard bounce, his gaze sliding across her naked body and up to her face. His skin felt tight, sweat already popping out on his chest as Suki bit down on her lip.

He swallowed, seeing the hesitation in her eyes.

"Suki, if you don't want-" he started, but she just pulled a soft smile and surged forward, straddling his lap. She caught his face in her hands and kissed him as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her on top of him as he laid back on the bed.

Suki broke the kiss, her mouth trailing down his throat. She nipped at his skin, her teeth making zings of pleasure race through him. He groaned and dug his hands into her hair, his hips lifting up into hers. Their bodies fretted, her warm center gliding along the length of his cock.

As her mouth closed over one of his nipples, her hand came down between them again. He groaned as she stroked him, his hips shifting upward into the steady pressure of her fist.

"Suki..."

He turned them on the bed, laying her down and then running his mouth down the center of her body. Suki arched against his mouth, her hand in his hair, holding him to her as he drew circles with his tongue against her skin, alighting his mouth everywhere he could. Her skin was warm and soft as he nibbled at her, sucking at her nipples, then trailing his tongue down her center.

When he pushed his head between her legs, she breathed his name on a desperate plea, lifting her hips into the heat of his mouth. He tasted her slowly, unhurried, savoring her the way he'd always wanted to.

She was perfect, he thought...his...his forever...

She came against the steady pressure of his tongue, the sound of her pleasure breaking the air apart. It spurred him on and he reached for her as she reached for him. And when he entered her, he kissed her at the same time, trying to tell her, without words, how he felt about her.

He made love to her slowly, kissing the cries from her lips, taking her to the edge again and again and letting her break beneath him. And when he finally found his pleasure, shaking, shivering, covered in sweat, her taste in his mouth like ambrosia, she pulled him to her, her limbs tight around his, taking him as he had taken her.

They trembled together on the little bed, their limbs sticking together as she panted beneath him. Suki's eyes were hazy with desire. She cupped his face and lifted her head, kissing him softly, reverently.

"Zuko...I..."

But he kissed her again, the kiss rolling into another and then another, until they joined again. The night passed around them as they made love.

He never wanted to stop.


	10. Ten

**CHAPTER TEN:**

* * *

Zuko woke to the sound of morning birds singing cheerily beyond the diamond-paned window above the bed. Blinking sleepily, he realized that he hadn't been asleep long, only a few hours at most.

The night rushed by him in a lurid, warm, sticky haze as he propped his head up on his hand and looked down at the woman sleeping soundly on her side next to him.

Suki's hair was mussed, her lips slightly parted as she breathed slow and steady. She had pulled the covers up over her breasts, but one side had slipped a little and he could see the tip of her rosy pink nipple. Remembering the rough texture and the way her body had arched like a taut bowstring when he'd drawn that tasty morsel into his mouth made his body ache so hard he swelled instantly.

Amused, he twitched the cover back over her and then slid his hand down her arm, marveling at the warmth of her, of how very real she was. A smile played on his lips as he breathed in her scent, of the smell of sex and sweat. He wanted nothing more than bury his face in her neck and take a deep pull, to brand the scent of her in his bed into his memories forever.

Instead he watched her sleeping, as if she hadn't a care in the world, in his arms.

After about ten minutes, she stirred, moaning as she groped forward, one of her strong, slender hands sliding around his ribs, her face pushing into his bare chest.

Zuko smiled, rubbing her back gently with his fingertips until he saw goosebumps dimple her skin. Suki came awake slowly, a small smile playing on her lips. When he saw her eyes flutter open, fixing him in their soft blue gaze, he grinned down at her.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning," she echoed and glanced at the window, where the birds were still twittering away. "Sleep well?"

"Best sleep of my life," he said truthfully. Though he hadn't slept long, he couldn't remember feeling more contented and at peace with the world. "Best night of my life."

A shadow flickered across Suki's gaze and her smile wavered and then fell a moment later. Something about that expression made his stomach tighten. He recognized that look. It was the same look she had been giving him for months, when things between them were so close to going too far.

Confusion broke in him, but he pushed it away as Suki pushed her face against his chest. She let out a deep sigh.

"I don't want to leave this bed," she said in a tight, regretful voice.

"We don't have to," he said lightly. "We've got a while before Uncle expects us at breakfast, before we have to leave for the train station..."

His intentions couldn't have been clearer, and she picked up on his meaning with a little shudder.

"We shouldn't," she said softly, but there was no real conviction in her words, in the language of her body as he gently stroked her reddish brown hair back from her temples.

"Yes, we should," he said and bent, kissing her cheek. Suki lifted one hand and caught his face, bringing him down to her lips with a sharp moan of hunger. He kissed the sleep from her mouth, noting the almost desperate fierceness of her kiss, like she might never get the chance to do it again. Gently, he rolled them over, peeling the sheet out from between them as he shifted, placing himself between her grasping thighs.

It was all warmth and clutching hands after that, a haze of Suki's moans as she arched beneath him in the soft morning light. He took her slowly but no less eagerly than the night before, savoring the way she clung to him, his name broken on her lips with each thrust.

He tasted every inch of her, lingering on her breasts and then pulling out of her to trail his way down to her stomach. The flavor of her body burst in his mouth as he lapped at the sweet honey of her, kissing her deeply, listening to her keening cries as he slowly brought her to the edge.

She broke against the tease of his tongue, sinking her hands into his hair and wrenching him back to her lips. He entered her again, kissing her long and hard until his head was buzzing.

He pulled back and smiled down at her, watching her eyes swimming with desire, sweat on her forehead, as he made love to her.

Their hands caught, intertwining as he moved into her, sweat clinging to his skin, Suki's lips on his neck, marking him as she let out a series of encouraging pants.

Her warm, wet body welcomed him home, and he felt another indecent surge of pride when she came beneath him again. She shivered, clinging to him, stroking his back and whispering in his ear over and over again, "Don't stop, Zuko..."

He groaned and kissed her, his hips taking her in long, deep strokes that bounced them both on the narrow bed, which creaked under them noisily. He didn't care.

"Yes..." Suki's head went back and he knew she was going to come again. He let go of her hand, sliding one hand beneath her neck and meeting her gaze as she gasped, her thighs tightening on his hips. She came with a fluttering squeeze of her muscles and he broke seconds later, riding the wave of her passion with a rough pleasure of his own and a hard, back-bending spasm that made him collapse over her, panting.

Her arms slid around his shoulders as he breathed into her neck, aftershocks trembling his body. He eventually lay still, softening inside of her as their breathing evened out together.

Suki ran her fingers through his hair, caressing the back of his neck as a soporific peace floated over him. He'd never felt so wonderfully spent in his life, so comfortable, so right.

This was where he was supposed to be, in the arms of the woman he loved. He reached up and cupped her sweat-reddened face, the truth swelling in his heart.

"Suki, I..." The words formed on his tongue. He was going to tell her. Why shouldn't he? He was in love with her. He wanted to shout it across the four nations.

But Suki cut across him, touching the hand cupping her cheek, and then pushing it off with a firm, but gentle shove.

"Zuko, we can't do this again."

And she pushed him off of her, disengaging their bodies so that he fell to the side.

"What?"

Suki grabbed the sheet and pulled it to her as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her back was ramrod straight and that shadow—that familiar, damned expression—was back on her face again.

"This was a one-night only thing, okay? I'm not...not interested in pursuing this further and I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this between the two of us, all right?" she said formally, but there was a quaver in her voice.

"Just the two... Hang on," he said dumbly, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "What's going on?"

"It was... I had a very good time with you, Zuko. And, umm... Well, we had good sex and now it's over and done with. We've got it out of our systems, right? It was a mistake, but we won't be making it again, will we?"

"...A _mistake_ _?_ "

Suki inhaled sharply and stood, clutching the sheet to her body. He noticed that her knees were knocking a bit and she was suddenly shivering, despite the heat of the bedroom. "Obviously we've been attracted to one another for a long time. It was inevitable that we'd explore something sexual between us. And... And now we HAVE and now we can both move on and get back to the way...umm...the way things used to be. Back to normal. We can just pretend like none of this ever happened. And we can both move on the way we should. Do you understand?"

Zuko couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't stop staring at her in numb shock. Suki, however, was steadfastly not looking at him.

"You..." he started and then stopped, clearing his throat before saying, "Suki, you want me to pretend like we didn't just sleep together?"

"Yes," she said carefully. "That would be best. For the both of us. Absolutely."

"I don't want to pretend," he said softly.

"Well, I do," she said and looked at him square in the face, her jaw set. Her eyes were huge and scared, but she looked as resolute as he'd ever seen her.

"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking. "Was it not...good? Was _I_ not good?"

Something in her softened at that and she bit down on her lower lip. "Of course you were. That's not... The sex was good, Zuko... It was amazing! I had...a...a r-really nice time..."

Oh, no. That didn't feel insulting at all.

"Then why-?"

"Because I..." She stopped herself, swallowing hard, tears in her eyes. Then she lifted her chin and her expression hardened. "I was confused for a while, but now I'm not. I don't have feelings for you, Zuko. I mean, I was curious. We were flirting and it's been a long time for me, and...and...and..."

"So all of that...you slept with me to get me out of your system?" he said bitterly, grabbing at the pants he'd shucked the night before. He pulled them on with a jerk.

"Well-"

"I thought..." he said, turning his back on her as he tied the laces on his pants. His hands were trembling. This could not be happening. "I mean, I thought that meant something. It meant something to me! You...it was just sex to you?

Suki looked away from him, her brows drawing low. "I...I don't owe you an explanation."

"No, I guess you don't," he said softly, turning to face her again. "You don't have feelings for me?"

Suki met his gaze and he saw her waver again, but she lifted her chin. "J-just friendship. Nothing more. Do you—no, that's none of my business."

"Do I have feelings for you? Is that what you were going to ask?" Zuko said, walking over to her. Suki clutched the sheet, her eyes wide as he stopped in front of her. He studied her face. "You know I do. But, I guess what I feel doesn't matter, Suki. What matters to me is what you feel. I guess I had a few wrong ideas about last night. I shouldn't have. Stupid of me, I guess. It was just sex, right?"

Suki swallowed and refused to meet his gaze again. "Y-yes."

"Then we can leave it right here, in this room."

She looked at him in shock, disbelief etched across her features. "What?"

Zuko pulled a rather wooden smile. He wasn't sure what he was feeling at the moment, but something told him that Suki was lying to him. _Had_ been lying to him since she'd pushed his hand away. But if she needed to lie, he wasn't going to push her. He'd told her that he wouldn't, and he'd meant it. It had taken him months to get her into bed...maybe it would take that long to convince her that things between them were a lot more complicated and much, much deeper than one long night of physical passion. Even after everything they'd been through.

Maybe he just needed to wait for her to come around.

Or maybe she _wasn't_ lying. Maybe she really didn't have feelings for him.

Maybe he was an idiot.

Maybe it wasn't up to him. And maybe assuming she was lying made him a jerk, and an even bigger fool than he already was.

Maybe he was just going to beat his head against a wall until things made sense again. Maybe that would solve all of his problems.

Or maybe just rip out his heart and be done with it altogether.

His mood blackened and grew bitter, a sense of hopelessness coming over him as he looked into her large blue eyes, wishing he could know what was going on inside of her head. Wishing she weren't so stubborn.

"We can just pretend this never happened, like you want. No one ever has to know. I won't push it. I'll stop flirting. We've gotten it out of our systems, I guess," he said bitterly. It was the biggest lie he'd ever told, but if that was what she wanted to hear, then he'd play along.

"Oh...yes, I..." Suki stuttered, licking her lips. She drew herself up and her Captain's mask fell over her face like shutters on a window again. "I think that would be best, Fire Lord Zuko."

Amusement flooded him, but was chased away by something like sorrow and certainly a lot of frustration.

Well. He'd play along. What choice did he have? He couldn't make her admit she felt something for him. He didn't know if she did or not. Sex was not love, after all and she didn't owe him anything. He wasn't the type of guy to think that she did, despite the fact that he was sure she was lying her perfect ass off.

"Good. Well, then thank you for the sexercise—EXERCISE!—Captain Suki. I appreciate it," he said in a hearty voice so very unlike his own.

He caught her off guard with that one and he saw it in her eyes. "Uh... My...my pleasure..."

He reached out and took her hand, kissing the back of her knuckles before she could stop him. He said formally, "The pleasure was all mine, I assure you."

She snatched her hand back, her face burning.

"Well, I...I should..."

"If _you_ think that's best, I won't stop you," he said, standing back and watching her hastily collecting her scattered clothing. She looked at him as she went for the door, her eyes wide again. She seemed to expect him to stop her, but when he didn't make a move, she ducked her head.

"Well, see you at breakfast."

"Suki."

She turned so fast at the sound of her name on his lips that he had stop himself from smirking at her. Instead, he stepped close to her again and pushed her damp hair back from her face.

"I'm going to leave tonight in this room, because you want me to, but I'll never, ever forget it...or the way you moaned my name when I made you come. Over...and over.. _.and over_ ," he said, leaning in so that his breath whispered across her neck.

Suki gave a shudder, her breath quickening, desire blooming in her eyes instantly. Her lips opened and she glanced at his mouth for one long moment, while he felt that dark triumph in him. He surged forward, slamming a hot, hard kiss to her lips.

She kissed him back for a few breath-stealing moments, and then he felt her hand his chest. She pushed him back a few inches, breaking the kiss.

"Please don't," she said and then opened the door and practically ran out of the room.

The door slammed closed behind her and he let out a growl, banging his fist on the wood in frustration and a whole host of other feelings that he was too bewildered to unravel at the moment.

One thought penetrated his numb disbelief, however.

How in the hell was he supposed to pretend that he wasn't desperately, painfully in love with her after this?

 _(end)_

* * *

 _ **Note:** This is a two-part series. The next part is called The Night Off. Several chapters have already been posted, and will be updated (and finished!) soon!_


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